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"This is why all reporters eventually go insane: Even if you see a guy shoot someone--in fact, even if a guy shoots *you* in the face, and you watch the bullet come out of the chamber of the .38 he's holding--the event needs to be described as an 'alleged' crime, and that alleged criminal needs to allege that he had no part in anything that allegedly happened." -Chuck Klosterman- Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs