Sean

What’s up everybody! It’s me Sean, or as some of you know as “Cj’s brother.” I really don’t like writing these because it’s hard to express who I am in a few short paragraphs; let alone help you to understand just with words on a screen of who I am. So I’m just going to write a few Key points that may serve as a guide to get to know me.Names Sean. I will be 22 on July 13th. I come from a Christian family; my dad is a pastor of a non-denominational Christian church and my mom is a nurse. Even though I have lived my entire life “in the church,” I am not religious. However, I consider my self to be a very spiritual person. There are things, ideas, concepts, and basically “beauties” of this world that I feel so strongly about and know that they are muted by the evils of human ignorance. Some of you know that I am actually a very dark person. And let me express sternly... when I say “dark”… I’m speechless now. I don’t want to scare you off, but I need you to understand that choosing to KNOW ME is choosing to KNOW THE “TRUTH”. Whatever it may be… “I am an open book that is filled with happiness and pain.” You can see the smile on my face that brings people together and the scars on my wrists, arms, and legs. You can ask me anything and I will tell you the truth. I do not lie. Lying NEVER turns out good. Even “little white lies” are horrible and damning lies that cause pain and miscommunication. I do not hide my pain because I know that there are other human beings out there that feel like they are alone. Some of my scripts/stories pair together issues and concepts that you don’t want to think of because they are too brutal or too graphic to discuss or bare. Then again, my stories of laughter and Love will caress your soul into a state of emotion that will leave you weightless. That said, I know that I must, to the best of my abilities, show other people the “truth in beauty” the world has to offer. I know in my soul that I was put on this earth to show people the greatest form of beauty, LOVE. (Smirk) When I say the word Love, it has an infinite amount of levels and situations. From the simplicity of a young boy sitting on a hill watching the shooting stars go by… to the complexity of the emotions evoked by death… Your probably thinking, “Damn this guys gay, lame, and watches too many movies.” Well, a few of those are correct, but you haven’t seen anything yet!Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be an actor. I did all the church plays and community’s events, but if you know the town of Ridgecrest, you know that staying there would have been suicide to my career and life, literally. Around the age of 13 or so my dad said to me, “You know Sean, You talk about being an actor, but you are always directing. Why don’t you look into that.”? And it hit me. I had been writing and visualizing movie ideas and stories since fetus-hood. So, that goal that I had always been reaching for but never verbally materialized finally came surface!I will change the world by becoming a Writer/Director!“Yeah, you and the rest of Hollywood.” I get that a lot, and it’s true. But I don’t care. I want to show people my Love and Passion through the greatest and most powerful form of influence, “The Media (Movies, Music, Art, ect)”So this is becoming a little longer than I expected… eh, deal with it JEverything I have done has been at hyper speed. My brother and I were home-schooled K-12th grade (THANK GOD no one can tell!). I graduated high school at 15 and then college at 16. There are no laws that deal with age limits for a child to go to college; well, that’s blurry but… So by age 18, I had 4 Associates degrees from our community college and completed a year long Digital Animation Academy…All the while I was still growing “in and out” of a world that was sheltered from me. “Be in the world, but not of the world” is what I was taught… If two people would kiss on TV, it was turned off – Girl were not allowed down passed the hallway – No PG-13 rated movies allowed till I was 16 – And from church came no friends outside of church…… All of these and many, many other points in my life caused my brother and I to be pushed down like a spring… and the time came when the tension was so great… the force broke… cause us to spring up and reach for any and everything… the failed attempts, the misplaced love, the separation, the isolation, the cutting, the blood, the unplanned, the sexual escapades, the sexual confusion, the drinking, the drugs, the funerals, the deaths… mixed with: the adoption, the family, the friends, the connections, the times, the successes, the opportunities, the love…… But to learn more about the rises and falls, you will have to speak to me directly.People always wonder why I LIKE working very hard. It’s because I have been working my whole life. I started working at age 9 by teaching gymnastics. Then followed every kind of job you can think of; Paper Boy, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Wienerschitzel, Lab Aid, Teachers Ai.... My brother and I had to pay our own way in life, which caused us to work more then anyone we knew. I love it. Yes, there are some problems that have grown from our “fast-forwarding” in life, but I would not change anything. My childhood gave me the tools I needed to become greater and help others in those same shitty situations…I graduated Cal State Fullerton in May 2006 (not my first choice but hey…). Ever since then I have been working in the film business. I have completed a few of my feature scripts that I’ve been working on for many years. I hope to direct two shorts by the end of this year. Things are going great I supposed… Like I told my brother a few weeks ago, “I have not directed a feature film yet, I’m not happy.” LOL, I know that’s awful, but I am accepting that emotion. My life has been so pushed and in a “must be perfect” style that I understand why I get agitated that my dream has not yet fully become a reality. BUT, IM SMART and I understand that when the time comes, I will be ready and it will be as it was meant to be and in that sense… Perfect.Cj, my brother is the most talented musician in Ridgecrest, and most likely the most talented in a few 1000-mile radius. I can say that with confidence because my brother and I have ALWAYS been driven and recognized in these 2 fields. Music and Film. There has always been a… “Disturbance in the force,” in a good way, if you will among people who meet us. I really hate sounding conceded and it still makes me uncomfortable, but the feeling I have… is so strong… I know it will happen. I know that my script won out of 5000 entries at Cal State Fullerton for a reason… I know that Cj becoming the number one person sought out for producing and improving House/town/garage bands in our area is not for nothing… I know that me being willing to work without stopping till I am physically bleeding on set all the while with a honest smile on my face will take me where I want to go… I know that Cj and My past will be examples that will help many people… Cj and I ARE going to change the world, or at least, plant a seed that will grow into a kind of heaven or “understanding of heaven” that throughout time, people will follow and be reborn…I know you don’t fully understand what I’m talking about or why I feel I can say these things… And that’s why this introductory blog does not do justice to my life. People are always baffled at how different Cj and I are from the rest of the world. It’s sad because all we do that’s different is “truly Love.” Changing your perception on any issue makes a world of difference. If you think your life is horrible or not worth living – or things never seem to get better and time is passing you by and leaving you behind… try looking at Love in a completely new direction. NO! I don’t mean sell your body to the next John Doe on Sunset and Vine for 20 buck and 8 Ball of coak! Love is so much greater then you think. I believe that God placed me on this earth and filled me with such an extreme amount and sense of Love to share.All right, That’s all I feel like writing now. You can check out my blogs for more detailed information on certain points of my life. I encourage you to read them when you have time. They are coming from someone who actually cares for you instead of an empty shell full of only lifeless words. I leave you with the Preface of the Poetry/short book I’m working on, “the bayou”:**A true connection creates a whole… no matter the amount we are one**...Steadily, my soul has been dying for the last 21 years…**In its absence emerged anew, one I can not control… One I don’t want to control**...The knowledge of your soul’s death is like a flesh eroding disease. Sections slowly collapse and pain you never thought imaginable arise...**All life has only two commonalities… We are born / we die… true connection comes only with the understanding that these two blessings must consume our every moment’s moment**...Looking back, I cannot imagine proceeding forward...**Yet, the never-ending viscous cycle of life’s yearning for “connection”… is just that**...What’s left of my bloody soul can now see the existence of the “Hyper-real.”...**The Hyper-Real is the knowledge of all… achieving this indefinitely can only be obtained in result of your physical form’s death**...Some are givin the opportunity to view life in the Hyper-real for only a moment; just as a crashing wave’s water nears and recedes from the ocean. Others are forced into a connection unwanted....**a place with a view of heaven that reminds you of hell - a place with a view of Hell that reminds you of heaven…**...One of the most intriguing situations in life is the fact that we are given the key to end all pain and sorrow...**The ability to view one’s soul is amazing, beautiful, terrifying, and fatal … the ability to view your own is the same**...Sadly, most others are so disconnected with the basics of their soul that they render it impossible for us to connect with them...**… We have the key… but only a few know where it goes**... ************************************************************ ************************************************ “And now… I am here” – Claude Kenny