We are two mariners our ships' sole survivors in this belly of a whale. Its ribs our ceiling beams, its guts our carpeting, I guess we have some time to kill. You may not remember me, I was a child of three and you, a lad of eighteen. But I remember you, and I will relate to you how our histories inweave. At the time you were a rake and a roustabout, spending all your money on the whores and hounds. You had a charming air, all cheap and debonair, my widowed mother found so sweet. So she took you in, Her sheets still warm with him. Now filled with filth and foul disease. As time wore on you proved a debt-ridden drunken mess leaving my mother a poor consumptive wretch. Then you disappeared, your gambling arrears, the only thing you left behind. Then the magistrate reclaimed our small estate and my poor mother lost her mind. Then one day in spring my dear sweet mother died, but before she did I took her hand as she, dying, cried:
"Find him, bind him. Tie him to a pole and break his fingers to splinters. Drag him to a hole until he wakes up naked, clawing at the ceiling of his grave."
It took me fifteen years to swallow all my tears among the urchins in the street. Until a priory took pity and hired me to keep their vestry nice and neat. But never once in the employ of these holy men did I ever once turn my mind from the thought of revenge. One night I overheard the Prior exchanging words with a penitent whaler from the sea. The captain of his ship, who matched you toe to tip, was known for wanton cruelty. The following day I shipped to sea with a privateer and in the whistle of the wind I could almost hear...
"Find him, bind him. Tie him to a pole and break his fingers to splinters. Drag him to a hole until he wakes up naked, clawing at the ceiling of his grave. There is one thing I must say to you as you sail across the sea, always your mother will watch over you, as you avenge this wicked deed"
Then that fateful night, we had you in our sight, after twenty months at sea. Your starboard flank abeam. I was getting my muskets clean. When came this rumbling from beneath.... The ocean shook, the sky went black and the captain quailed. Before us grew the angry jaws of a giant whale....
Don't know how I survived, the crew all was chewed alive. I must have slipped between his teeth. But, O! What providence! What divine intelligence! That you should survive as well as me. It gives my heart great joy to see your eyes fill with fear. So lean in close and I will whisper the last words you'll hear.
I don't pick fights, I make explosions
It's official... I'm in love with Summer
We're like magicians when we dream
What lies in the shadow of the statue
You try to play it cool Like you just don't care
But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear
I'm like the mage with the magic spell
You come like a dog when I ring your bell
I've got the money and I've got the fame
You've got the hots to ride on my plane
You're giving me all that I desire
Because down with me I'm taking you higher
I'm the baddest of the bad
I'm the best that you've ever had
I'm the tops, I'm the king
All the girls get up when I sing
I am the greatest man that ever lived
The first and most important rule of gun-running is: Never get shot with your own merchandise.
When you love somebody, bite your tongue all you get is a mouth full of blood.
He wants us to move the island
DO A BARREL ROLL!
Blood Cock
Oh and Jack...... clocks ticking!
Not Penny's Boat
I believe in Harvey Dent
You taste like fish biscuits
The cake is a lie....
I wish all my companions were waited cubes
First rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club
WOLVERINES!
She made a mistake
I hate the fair
Just beat it
I'll take the number 16 please
Why so serious?
Would you kindly.....
I Killed Mufasa
Coffee and Pie, Oh My!
I'm probably busy Timecoping.
I wish I could grow a beard.
I have a beach house.
When I'm alone I pretend my echoes belong to someone else.
Everything will change.
I would have Jamba Juice everyday if I could.
Batman is my hero.
I watch more movies than you.
Yes it's funny.
I spend money I don't have, on stuff I don't need.
All of my clothes come from American Apparel.
I love taking pictures.
I want to be a kid again.
I've probably seen you naked.
I can dance like Micheal Jackson.
Sand is overrated.
Tom Arnold.
I love tattoos.
Food is the best thing you could put in your mouth.
Yes, I'm aware of how it sounds.
I'll never beat Ghouls and Goblins.
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