Hello..I am a Roast Chicken..everyone loves Roast Chicken..except vegetarians..but carnivours have been eating meat for decades.. and even I eat my own kind and don't feel bad about it..theres nothing I like more..than getting my head and feet chopped off (that tickles sometimes)..then getting my feathers all pulled out..then getting gutted..stuffed and roasted..or in Portugal I get flattenned..skinned as well and roasted over hot coals with chilli on me..this is the best way to eat me I think..I think I may be a Portuguese Roasted Chicken but I can't tell as I have no head and subsequently..no eyes... ...well.. I grew up free range on a farm about a year ago (and thanks MySpace for not letting me put my real age in).. when I grew up on the farm I was owned by a very gentle old man..he was very nice to us and sometimes would sleep in our pen with us when he got very drunk..but he was arrested the other week for helping his friend dispose of the body of a woman he had killed..he cut her head off with a shovel..the head is the only part they found..maybe he sold the rest as Pork..who knows..Urgh..I hate Pork..Pigs are Cunts...They just try to eat everyone's food..even try to eat other animals on the farm...I was surprised about the Farmer though.. him being so nice n all...poor guy.. .well my favourite shows are/were (when I had a head) 'The Littlest Hobo' (love the title song too... 'Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down. . Until tomorrow, I'll just keep movin' on')...Sesame Street (I love Big Bird he's my hero..and hot!)..um.. documentaries about farms and Chickens and cooking shows about cooking Chicken..I can't read so I don't read books..I don't have a head anymore remember so I have no eyes..I don't even really know what I am typing here.. I used to listen to music..when I had a head..but still play it..if its up loud enough I feel vibrations..like..heavy metal and punk...Manuel And The Music Of The Mountains..I wish I could fly..soaring around mountains...Bob Dylan..did you know that he mentions a Chicken in 7 songs?! The Chicken Dance is my favourite song...dada dada dada da..dada dada dada da..dada dada dada da..clap clap clap clap...I can't do that any more though as my legs have been chopped off..but still I'd rather be eaten than be a dancer...Can you name any famous Chicken Dancers? ..but you can name thousands of famous Chicken Recepies! . . oh and I got a tip from a rather little Chicken that the sky is falling.. . and I was an extra on the Muppet Show once..it was such a blast...had a bit of a fling with Kermit..he's got a funny little green dick..Miss Piggy didn't even know..dumb slut..she is such a fuckwit..Hate Pork.. . . ...
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Some facts:1. Out of the 10,000 species of bird, only 10 are classified as poultry. These are turkey, duck, goose, guinea, pea fowl, pigeon, pheasant, ostrich, swan and – yes – us wonderful Chickens!2. Chickens ovulate almost every day, and cockerel sperm can remain fertile inside a hen for up to 32 days. Chickens can lay an egg approximately every 27 hours, and will ovulate 30 minutes after laying an egg. Unless the egg is layed after 2pm, in which case a delay of 16-18 hours is normal. A hen will lay an average of 245 eggs a year.3. Chickens have no sweat glands, and do not urinate.4. Chicken navels are connected to the intestine. Also, chickens are unable to bend their backs.5. Chickens lay their eggs backwards – large end first. This makes it almost impossible for the egg's shell to crack during the laying proccess.6. Chickens have cannibalistic tendencies. Farmers will often "de-beak" them, in a process which removes the end of the beaks, in order to prevent them from eating one another. GRRRRR!7. Chickens have hollow bones, and are able to breath through them.8. Boy Chickens have their testes inside their body cavity.9. The process of viewing chicken eggs for quality is via a special machine, and is called "candling".10.Chickens go like this: "Bok bok bokek!"
