Mase

Listen everyone. Most of you don't read this. I dont particularly care about that. But if you dont email me before you try and add, im not gonna add you. If you want to contact me..do it through myspace, my aim i never go on so dont bother. I dont like people all that much but im a socialite.....sometimes i hate myself,sometimes i love myself. Sometimes im an ass hole. Most of the time i try and be nice, and i like to help people. I dont require thank you's or apologies, i just need to know what you feel after you have done something to me that would regularly require an apology. If your not sorry,dont say sorry. If you are dont say it. Just let me know, through some alternate means. I have a habit of biting my nails, i have been getting better..but i still do it, so if you see me chewing at the tips of my fingers slap my hand away or something. Im uncircumcised. I like the redwoods. I severely dislike whining, whiners just get on my nerves. I have bad skin, and its a sensitive subject, so please dont fuck with me about it, its infuriating also to see someone staring at my cheeks, or forehead, rather then my eyes, when were having a conversation. Dont think i cant see the slight movement of your eyes, just dont do it..or do it so i cant see you. Also my back, i have bad skin on my back, pretty damn bad. Same rules apply.Sometimes i have a bad temper, so if im grumbling, or not looking how i regularly do....again dont fuck with me. I like drawing on my hand. Or body. I like tattoos, and piercings. Its a major turn on for me. I cannot stand when people smack there lips while eating. My policy upon smacking lips while eating:Smack your lips, I'll smack your face. I might be bi-polar from inheritance..so if i have varying moods, you can blame me but always have in the back of your head "bi-polar." Sometime i like to lay still and listen to a good band playing, something mellow...death cab, or Sigur Ros...i dont know some band like that. and i could lay there for hours listening to my i-pizzle over and over again. But sometimes i have the urge to freak out and jump around, screaming the lyrics as loud as i can to All That Remains, or With Passion. In all i am a fun guy. Though like i said i have a mean streak. I sometimes wish i could be one of those guys that have sex with hundreds of girl in college, but i dont think i can be like that. im too emotional. I lie. I hate it when i do, but i do it anyway. I say if i was an animal i would be something like a part cyborg pinguin. I can be cuddly but when it comes down to it, i can open my wing and pop out a fucking gun. Then i would say "Alright i believe you, but my tommy gun dont." I cant speak. I can rarely get my point across if something meaningful to me is brought up as a topic. I get tounge tied, and generally break down and yell an expletive stomping off muttering to myself. I hate it, i wish i could speak, because most of the time i can say something that will contribute to the conversation. But i just cant say it, its terribly infuriating, and i think if i can just get over that hill i can be a little bit happier with myself. But its so hard. Again i doubt any of you will read to here, let alone any of this. I have a brother who is the closest thing i have to a father aside from a pot head dad. He has always been there for me,and i love him way more then my dad. Hate to say it but its true. My mother is an awesome woman and kicks ass with a wooden spoon. She has worked her ass off to get us as a family out of debt and shes still working. If i become rich im going to get her out of debt. The closest friend i have is Yuri Kahan. Though sometimes we dont like each other much, were like an old married couple. Bowling is a good pastime, and a perfect place to meet friends. Music is a big part of my life, though i do not play anything as of late, i have always been surrounded by it. My father plays the guitar and has since he was 12 or so, self taught, and hes good. The lyrics in songs have an affect on me in the deepest ways. I lie to get out of things, usally taking advantage of the "im sick," or "i jammed my finger" I hate doing it, but when i dont want to do something, i make sure i dont have to do something. I often wonder how im not fat, because i eat things with nearly no nutritional value and mostly sit around all day. But i know sooner or later all the fats going to catch up with me, so i plan on being active when that happens. Im athletic when i am active, i usually lye dormant for a long time then explode;if i have practice, or a work out schedual i go full into it, and i usally get pretty good at the sport, or bigger in the case of lifting weights. You know you have had a good work out when you cant touch your shoulders. Im doin it now ad i feel great, my body is shaping up :] I realized that i listen to so much music, in volume and variety. I listen to a lot just around the house, then in the car, and i usually have a portable with me so i listen when im sitting around, or long boarding. By the way riding your bike with a half filled bottle of rum, a 16 pound bowling ball, an extra pair of pants, bowling shoes, and your CD player, is very hard to do when you ride from my house (Rancho Cordova) to Yuri's house (Carmichael). Fucking hills. Anyways, I listen to Mozart, to Spital Field, to Machine Head, To Prince, and the BeeGee's, to Ludacris....I listen to a lot of different stuff. I hate when my toes get cold, because then they take a long long time to warm up again. I got my braces aoff and now wear a watermelon retainer :D yeah baby! I had a bad experience with a dentist..he managed to put Novocaine everywhere but the places he was going to pull, my whole face was numb aside from where the four molars were being pulled. I was screaming and they had to hold me down, i managed to hit one of the nurses in the face with my palm, but it didnt do much, i was i dunno 7? But i was crying and crying. Then he decided to pull on the molar on my jaw to the right, well that one tooth broke in two, he then had to dig under the remnants of that tooth to get to the roots through my gums. It was a horrible pain, none that ive ever felt before. Stubbing your toe hurts. I really havent hurt myself all that much before, i dont have many scars, none of them are big, ive only broken my hand and, well my pinkie but eh. I just dont hurt myself, not to say i couldnt. I do the dumbest, craziest shit...but i never end up hurting myself. Oh wait aside from this one time when i was running away from my brother caz up on apple hill, and a fence had fallen down to look like steps down the hill, well this fence was a barbed wire fence. There was a large ball of barbed wire down at the foot of the hill, and i didnt see it for i was constantly looking over my shoulder to dodge snowballs, and caz's hands, and i ran full fledged into a ball of barbed wire and i sliced up my legs and managed to cut the tips of every single one of my fingers, then caz slammed into me shoving me deeper into the ball of twisted pain. It was interesting to watch the people look at me, blood stained shirt dripping blood from my fingers, and wet cheeks, walking towards the fire near the center of the group of people already having there tree's netted, and payed for. There was a mix of horror, to amusement, to inquisitive, curious looks. Now i know nobodies reading down here so...eh. I had sex with a dog once. My life has been good, ive had hardships, and still are, but if i really really look into it, it hasnt been all that bad. Everything is amplified or nulled by one's experience. its all in the perspective in which you look at it..my perspective...is about in the middle if you ask me. Of the people i have met, or known, or as little as seen there house. Im about in the middle of all those people. And not just with families either, just certain people, i know people who have lost family members, or who have had there mother taken away by the police, peoples brothers and sister overdosing. My family has never had anything of the sort. I have seen a few horrible things, but its all in a perspective. A war veteran would probably think nothing of it. Perspective. Im not anything really. I think things on my wrist make me look cooler. Like my man watch, or sweat band or something. Ive wanted glasses since i was small, i think there hott on women, and i think they look good on me. Headaches suck. Lately i have been craving a womans company:] People have started to annoy me lately with a passion..ive just been pissed at a lot of people. None of them close friends..most on the outer ring have just been shit heads. Im a writer. I was in a lull, but now im back into it. Its great. Writing is a great thing. And for those who believe me go to my group, Writers With A Passion (WWAP) it rocks my socks. I have nipples and i dont know why, rather we have nipples. Meaning men. Some people call me weird, some people feel right at home with me, some just think im stupid, and some like me...they really like me. being tired is something i adore. It makes me feel good. Cuz i know im gonna sleep..and sleep is one of my favorite things to do. Nothing happens when your sleeping, aside from the few spiders that you swallow, and all..but really....resting is just great, because i know once i get up, i will be totally recharged for the day ahead of me..the day of running, and yelling, and jumping, and basket ball, and ninja battles, and hugging. Ooooh hugging. I love it. I am said to be a good hugger. I try to give as many people hugs as i can during the day multiple times. Masturbation. God damn. Its great. I can stick my belly out really far after i eat a lot. Its fun. Everyone should try it....but dont do it until you check your belly button for lint...i get a lot of that....ew..:] I love it when rain droplets hit the top of your ear, its so crisp and awakening. Love. I broke my hand and im permanently disfigured..a little bit of an exaggeration but it is funky i have a knuckle down on the right hand side of my right hand, and when i put my hand down on hard surface it feels really weird. My i-pod is stocked with awesomeness, and i listen to it almost always. Friends of mine rock. im sure some of you would agree, some would think their friends are better and some wouldnt really know. but i have got to tell you that my friends (to me anyways) are fucking rad, and to chill with them is a privilege. I seriously love them. So i was expelled recently from Waldorf and that sucks..but.... I have learned so much about my family and my past that its insane. I guess the series of events and my age permitted my parents and brother mostly to explain many things going on in my life that had things to do with the past. Lots and lots of thing were revealed to me that i dont think my mother would have told me if it werent for this stressful and wrecking ball like cataclysmic chain reaction. For instance i learned how when my dad first smoked weed back when he was a wee lad like myself he did it unknowingly as self medication for his bieng bi polar, and for a while when my mother and him got married she stopped him smoking weed he quit for about two years but during that time he went so insane that my mom was actually afraid for our safety and his life. He became so up and down that he, at noon, wanted to kill himself then, at 12:30, after hitting his thumb with a hammer he wanted to kill us. So my mom, bieng a responsible (and wonderful) woman, distanced him from my brother and myself so that he would not affect us in such a bad way. Then after realizing what has happened to his mood and all my mom then let him smoke again to regulate and stay his moods. That buffer my mom created has made something between me and him that i cant get through much less want to, since this distancing was happening in very influential time of my life around 5 and 6. For my brother well my brother, bieng born from another father, was never good enough for my dad. They grew a steady hatred for eachother as time went on and my brother realized all of this. See that.. thats not even half of what i learned of my life in the past few days. I learned a lot from my brother, like why hes more of a dad to me. Why he is like he is and i like i am. We had a very long discussion with each other. Well hey i was accepted to Waldorf again ill be a junior, and i really have to focus on my studies. which will suck. But i have to do what i have to do. I am.....too horny for my own good. I want my ears pierced but i cant due to basketball, i believe i will after this basketball season. I'm living in an apartment on sunset avenue off of sunrise and its alright, im living with my mom and brother but hes in and out cuz of college and blah. My apartment complex has a pool, its sick. Oh and something i should have told you people way up there....i am damn hairy! my legs and well...my legs... are hairy, my chest isnt now but soon will be, my arms the same...im scared i think one day im just going to explode with hair and become sasquatch reborn or something. god damn it feels great to up your weight. I have a distorted self image, and i realized it not too long ago. if you want details talk to me but id rather not have completely random people reading bout this particular subject. strange i know, considering i let them know about my family, and my acne, oh and how i fucked a dog once.I am a sad and lonely shell of a fuckhead human, placed on this earth only to question and pollute. Fuck me. I do hand stands in my spare time, and im getting better. I like to climb things, be it a tree house or fence. Sometimes i get strange visions as im walking around randomly. For Example for a while i was seeing cars t-boning us as we drove through intersections, and my heart would start to beat faster and i could see it perfectly and sometimes my mom would die or sometimes i would and it was scary. Lately ive been seeing myself stabbing a huge knife through my own leg. I can see the tip of the knife as it comes out the other side and how my leg pushes up from having a foreign object pushed through it. Now ive been seeing myself drawing a long line across my arm with what seems to be a very sharp ice pick all up and down from hand to shoulder. Freaky ain't it?
I will give you a hint as to who i am......i am none other than anyone you see on the street, i am nobody in the apartment, i am everyone in the school, i see the river and brake the frozen flame, i turn the new leaf so often i try to find bugs, i sense the unsensible, ponder the unponderable, i flame the forest in which i live, i rise from the ashes, i tremble in the corner, cry in the spotlight, jump the canyon, surf the tital wave, create the creator, send for a bag of anthrax, i criticize the the power, fuck the porn star, shoot at the child, help the evil, i try to see through the haze i try to assume the worst, i think not at all,
As recited every night bye Monser Kody Scott, In L.A County Jail,
along with all other C.C.O members in County... All united as brothers.
All true to thier sets, all true to the fast growing army of the
Crips. The C.C.O(Consolidated Crip Orginization)
The Crip Cadence
C-R-I-P, C-R-I-P
Crip! Crip!
Minds of steal, hearts of stone,
Crip Machine is movin' on.
Blue steel, Blue flag,
Crippin'hard, no turnin'back
Raise the "C" and hold it high,
Forever forward, do or die.
Spread yo' wings, raise yo' head,
We are risin' from the dead.
Who say?
"C" say!
Who the greatest?
"C" the greatest!
Can't stop, won't stop,
Will not ce stopped!
Soldiers! Soldiers!
War! War!
Lose one, kill two,
Never rest until you do.
Hear the spirit from the grave,
Got to Crip everyday.
The "C" is strong, the world is weak,
Strength and loyalty is our key.
Across the sea and oer the hill,
Gauge in hand we come to kill.
Coast to coast, state to state,
C- mahine is on its way.
Who say?
"C" say!
Who the greatest?
"C" the greatest!
Can't stop, won't stop,
Will not ce stopped!
In sixty-nine the "C" was born,
Sixteen years and growin' strong.
From out the east came the "C,"
From the west came the rest.
East side, West side,
North side, South side,
Nation wide, unified,
CRIP! CRIP!
Raymond Washington did his best,
Cripped for years, now he rests.
Big Took, ce like him,
Dare to struggle, dare to win.
Mac and Satiy, they were down,
O.G Compton, strong and proud.
Hoova Joe, he was right,
Cuttin' throats day and night.
Up the hill, down the hill,
Through the land, kill the Klan,
Kill the dog, on the wall,
Bring him down, bust his crown!
Who say?
"C" say!
Who the greatest?
"C" the greatest!
Can't stop,won't stop,
Will not ce stopped.
Keep the busters on th run,
If you catch him slice his tongue.
Back him up against the wall,
To his knees he will fall.
Hold your sword, make him beg,
No compassion, take his head!
Plant the "C" everywhere,
For we are those who will dare.
Uptown, downtown,
Blue flags all around.
Chitty-chitty-bang-bang,
Nuthin' but a crip thang.
C-R-I-P! C-R-I-P!
Whata'ya Want? (Freedom!)
When you want it? (Now!)
How you get it? (Power!)
When you want it? (Now!)
UHURU, SASA! UHURU, SASA!Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds