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About Me

Hello everyone. Im John. I like shoes. Not in a gay way, I just think they're really practical. Lke cups. Ever heard anyone say "hey, you know what I really hate? cups." No, exactly. shoes are the same. Ive got a cat called scampy, a horse called dragon and a house thats far too big for me. I work for a building company doing a job that sounds nearly as boring as it is and I live in a small town thats really quiet where nothing ever happens and everybody lives sleepy, happy lives with names like Murdoch or Morag or something similarly phlegmy. Made a myspace site to piss my friends off who feel the internet is plain wrong, then got very addicted to it and am now considering asking myspace to move in with me and maybe settle down.See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

the girl who I saw in Princes Street, Edinburgh, dressed in a giant tiger costume handing out lollypops to passers by.

My Blog

Hi, is that Monster?

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Posted by on Thu, 12 Feb 2009 01:24:00 GMT

25 Things...

1.  I have never been to Wales.  I have no intention of changing this fact.  I imagine its a bit like Scotland.2.  I have a thing about different types of food touching each other.  For instance, liqu...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 09:26:00 GMT

The state of The State

I, Tragic Superhero Boy, have decided, in my ultimate and perfect wisdom, to lay out my plan to save Britain.  Mostly from itself.We now have an underclass, created not out of poverty, segregation, et...
Posted by on Fri, 30 Jan 2009 02:06:00 GMT

Glimmer of Hope in Welsh Crisis

Britain ceased it's offensive in Wales last night to allow Aid Agencies to enter Welsh towns near the border to provide food and much needed medical supplies to locals.  However, the government has be...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Jan 2009 05:03:00 GMT

Attacks Continue In Welsh Crisis

British Forces pushed into Wales today, following an intensive period of airstrikes on strategic locations, including schools in Pontypool, three hospitals in Port Talbot and Wales's only working Mosq...
Posted by on Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:02:00 GMT

Ethnic Tensions Prompt Border Closure With Wales

Simmering sectarian tensions were set to boil over last night, as British troops closed the border with Wales, following increased Pro-Welsh violence.Fighting at Kington and Hay-on-Wye between Welsh s...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Jan 2009 03:19:00 GMT

Pizza crunch and a Bottle of Ginger please...

For reasons that will become apparent for some, but less apparent for others (i.e. it's none of your fucking business, internet proles) here are, for the last time, all of the reasons I hate Glasgow.&...
Posted by on Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:27:00 GMT

Worst Blog Ever....

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Posted by on Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:06:00 GMT

A Potted History of French Warfare

For no reason, other than shear xenophobia.... The Gallic Wars (58 BC to 51 BC)The French get their arse handed to them on a silver plate by an Italian, of all people.Result:  LostThe Hundred Yea...
Posted by on Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:20:00 GMT

Bad Company

Jesus Blood Hesn't Failed Me Yet:  Deer are vermin.Tragic Superhero Boy:  Are they?JBHFMY:  I guess so, like Kangaroos.TSB: Which one's?  Red or Roe?JBHFMY:  I dunno, yeah, on...
Posted by on Mon, 13 Oct 2008 03:11:00 GMT