ryanSKIES [kermit!]

i paint.
i capture.i'm ryan, and i'm back to only drinking water and gazzeling.
i live and breath art. it is my life. i don't do my homework, i go outside and capture the beauty with photography. i stay at home on the weekends in my basement and paint what i feel and see. and in school all i do is draw.
i don't have a life. i'm modest in a world where modesty is nothing.
i need a job.
i eat taco bell a lot... too much.
i basically live at Michaels.
i don't like drugs. and i do not drink. nor do i smoke.
i like musics. but who doesn't?
i like skulls and paint splatters.
i eat whipped cream out of the bottle.
happy mellow music is my favorite, it's just really nice.
i still play on neopets....
i wish i was five and restart my life.
i like to make music too. i play clarinet and keyboard/piano really well and guitar and drums.
i contemplate a lot
i could give shit about what you think about me.
i like smiles. and warmth. and clouds, yeah, clouds.
God is the only being i need in my life for me to be content. he is truly amazing, so uplifting.
i've wanted to know so much about so many people. i just wonder if anyone finds that about me.I want my brain to be industrious and my words like the first snow of the winter. I want my looks to be pressed into me and my body to be comformed by the conveyers and machines of barbie and ken.
One day I'll wake up and wonder why i'm not what I thought I was. One day, i'll wake up with a smile on my face, and have the best day of my life. I'm waiting for that day.
i wish my life revolved around walking around looking for popcans and junk on the ground. to have adventures like that every day of my life. and i would say hi to nice people who didn't think i'm too strange. and even though i might not like the winters i'd love the world for what it truely is.
sometimes i just want to pause life, turn it around, and press play again. sometimes i wish my views were of a polaroid. sometimes i wish i could see upside down. sometimes i wish i could go to outerspace. sometimes i wish i wouldn't absorb so much. i am who i am, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't like to relive what i'm not. sometimes i wish i didn't think that once i'm out of highschool my life will restart. like i'll be born again. i'll have to find a new life, jump out of my body and find a fetus to crawl into. sometimes i wish my music would come alive and take me somewhere happy. sometimes i wish i could walk down the halls another few years. sometimes i don't know what to do. sometimes i do. but not really. i'm just living to breathe, eat, praise, smile, laugh, clap, capture, create, enjoy, and help others. sometimes i wish i had people who felt the same way as me, thought the same way, ticked and tocked the same. you know. maybe then i wouldn't be so goofy. or maybe i would? but i'd be better. maybe? and i like typing. pressing these keys. it's nice. but not as nice as breathing the warm lake michigan air on a sunny summer day.
everyday i wonder if this life is real or if i'm just someones sim; a puppet.
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