I had a Lobotomy and have been driving around in a 1964 Chevy Malibu with 4 dead, decomposing aliens in the trunk. I misappropriated them from an Air Base in Los Alamos, New Mexico in hopes of exposing the truth about the Roswell incident. These bodies are radioactive and are in need of a more suitable storage container. Ever been to Utah? Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense!
Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year! They oughtta have 'em too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. You ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people - leaves buildings standing. Fits in a suitcase. It's so small, no one knows it's there until - BLAMMO! Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead. So immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad. That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again. I have been working with my friend Leila form the "United Fruitcake Outlet". She told me that she is going to get the alien bodies on Johnny Carson, then have a press conference to tell the world. Its hard to hear her sometimes because I have to use a scrambler when we speak on the phone. I feel as if my mind is starting to erode.
