Two fellows are standing by waters edge both taking pisses, one fellow leans over and says "If I can piss a higher arch than you I will become the king of France." The other fellow says "If you can piss a higher stream than I, I will become your court jester and quarrel any beast that comes near the vicinity of the royal village." The first fellow grits his teeth and strains expending all unnecessary energy to thrust out the toxins which determined his future. The other fellow watches in horror as his peer gasps and sprays shit down the side of his own leg submerging the soil dwelling creatures below in a fecal grave. As it began it was already over, the first fellow did not reach his goal of attaining the role as France's redeemer, for his arch had fallen too short. The other fellow glances at the first fellows face and notices a tear in the corner of his eye. The first fellow whimpered " My asshole....it...burns..what causes this demonry!?". The other fellow observed the area where the black chunks had shot to from the rear of the first fellow. The observing fellow said "There appears to be blood in your stool". The first fellow then cries out "Is the blood in it or just covering it". Then a hush fell over the entire forest and a rumbling old voice shaking the ground muttered "it appears to be both". Then the Earth trembled causing the two fellows to fall on to the smalls of their backs. Something then arose from the dead leaf saturated floor from where the two fellows had stood. "It was an old man!" said a passing by bird. Cloaked in a gray tattered hooded robe, the old fool had fallen asleep by waters edge for a good eight hours which had caused him to be encased and camouflaged in a pile of dried dead leaves. The fellows had unknowingly been standing on him while pissing into the bosom of waters edge. The old man glared at the two fallen fellows smacking his lips and swallowing while wiping the blooded shit from his mouth. It was at this moment that the first fellow realized that his days of an unplanned dietary regime filled with sweets and starched foods were over, and an era of green leafy roughage along with grainy cereals was about to begin. This fellow then shouted to the heavens "For the love of all that is sacred!...Why....Now!...Why...me!"(Re-emerging from day dream state)(Classroom setting)"Billy!" yelled the teacher. "Yes!? replied Billy. "Are you paying attention, I asked you a question!" Billy responded sorrowfully "I'm sorry Ms. Pendragon, I wasn't listening." Ms. Pendragon then stated in a self-assured manner, knowing that all of her students were now focused on her "Alright, then....I shall ask you again." Billy joyfully remarked "Okay."(Billy then proceeds to hang himself in the corner of the classroom while jacking off.)------An excerpt from the Literary work entitlted "The Barnicles of Narnia: The Scallon, The Bitch, and The Gloryhole" by Prof. Harold Greene--------
You Are 0% Evil
You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!
How Evil Are You?
