i feel like changing things up a little, so i'm writing a new "about me" once again. people change, so i figure... so should my profile. a little anyway.
i grew up in stockton and then lived in san francisco for seven years. i moved around san francisco a lot, getting a new apartment or flat almost every year i was there. i went to san francisco state and graduated with a degree in english literature. i worked at a bookstore on campus the whole time i was there and supported myself through college. now i'm orange county and i still miss the bay area desperately. (there's a lot of shit i miss, read the blog if you're interested.)
i sincerely believe in living the golden rule. the world would be so much better if people actually took the time to consider how their actions effect another. so much drama is based on people not thinking beyond themselves. and it's so easy, i don't know why people don't treat others the way they would want to be treated themselves. i guess most people are inherently selfish and hedonistic. why?
i don't regret things. if i look back on something i did or said and no longer understand why, i tell myself that it made sense at the time. why waste time worrying about something that's been done?
i think it's important to live each day like it's your last. because it might be. who knows how they'll die? and if you lived your life holding stuff inside and waiting for things, what was it for? i think you might as well enjoy yourself and not stress out about things because life really isn't that long.
once i was younger, naive and hopeful... and i thought it was possible for the world to get better. then bush got "nominated" for office. once, that was bad enough. then he got elected again? what?! i used to believe there might one day be a revolution. a coup d'etat. of popular thought. but not any more. i went to the protests (when i still lived in the bay area) and saw people were protesting all over the world. and it didn't matter. we went into iraq anyway and for what? so now i'm a little older, a little more jaded and i just think the world's pretty much a fucked up place with some beautiful stuff mixed up in it. things like babies and love and romance and music and flowers and clouds and stars. but they're only miniscule fragments of beauty in part of a greater universe that has so much history of injustice and wrongdoing that it seems impossible to change this negative world into one where states and institutions don't oppress and massacre people, where money and food are shared equitably, where people don't die because of pharmaceutical patent laws, where there are no fucked up conditions of IMF loans and WTO agreements, where children grow up innocent, where education isn't a luxury, where things are fair and just. but it seems too hard. too massive to truly occur. but i'm not completely negative or misanthropic. i still hold on to a sliver of hope that this earth we live on will become a better place for more people, except i just don't think it will happen in my lifetime.
to be continued...?
