The Pirate Pope profile picture

The Pirate Pope

About Me

I was born with a pack of wolves and raised naked in the wilds of Alaska. After being discovered frozen in a glacier by Russian explorers, I was taken to Constantinople as a gift to the Emir. The concubines helped engineer my daring escape, using a laundry chute and the royal fireworks extravaganza. I was plucked from the waters of the Black Sea by a Mongol trading ship, which took me to their homeland near Ulaan Bator and made me one of their tribe. I studied the world's mysteries with their shaman, and found that I had the gift of hindsight. I knew that I had left my date in Constantinople, but alas, it was too late. She was waiting in Istanbul. Heartbroken, I moved to San Francisco, made a fortune selling poorly made shovels during the Gold Rush, and lost it all playing poker while drunk on the native tequila. I fell one night into the hold of an ice ship, delivering ice from Alaska, and was frozen again. I remained that way until the ship was moved into Seattle to be put into a maritime museum. Thawed again, I realized the dreams that had been broken because of my heartless sale of third-rate shovels and decided to work the rest of my life in the drudgery of non-profit environmentalism. While protesting shipments of nuclear waste, I waved my placard a little too vigorously, and fell into the very tub of goo I was so against. Sadly, I did not become a superhero, but did decide to move on, and I went back to school to learn to climb volcanoes for a living, and am currently studying all the math and science to do that.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Scientists and Artists. But not the pretentious kind of either...
You Passed 8th Grade Math
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My Blog

Off to the Great White North

I'm leaving tonight to go video the Yukon Quest sled dog race for a few days! What fun! What excitement! What temperatures! Watch what happens at Yukonquest.com in the multimedia albums section. I'll ...
Posted by on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 09:35:00 GMT

Bad Day in School

It's been a rough day for the college student. I walked in to Chemistry this morning, all set to turn in the homework I'd worked on until 11pm, when the guy next to me asked if I had finished the chap...
Posted by on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 14:33:00 GMT

Graffiti photo

I put the photo in my photos. I don't know how to put it in the blog itself, or if you can. This is what got tagged outside my bedroom window. There's also a line drawing of a cartoon pimp, but it suc...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 11:09:00 GMT

I've been slimed!

Well, not slimed. But tagged. Soon I will post a photo of the tag someone put up on our apartment wall. It's very pretty. Unfortunately, IT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO MY BEDROOM WINDOW. It kind of weirds me ou...
Posted by on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:07:00 GMT

Word of the day, "Meteorological Relativism"

Meteorological Relativism -n.- Theory that explains how 2 inches of snowfall will shut down the entire 3 million plus populace of the greater Puget Sound region, but not faze the fine people of the Ch...
Posted by on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 08:44:00 GMT

Plenty of time for delaying gratification

Oh, man. I just can't wait.  The initial joy of getting what you want is waning, replaced by anxious anticipation, and expectation of all-consuming ecstasy.  Twice! Number 1: I quit the job ...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 14:07:00 GMT

Vote for my new facial hair!

Hola, Comrades! I have shaved off the beard, and took photos of all the different styles of possible facial hair.  Go on down to my photos page and leave a comment to vote for what facial hair I...
Posted by on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 13:40:00 GMT

Why make it so hard on yourself?

OK, I try to be a laid back boss, but some folks are just idiots. Once upon a time, 30 minutes ago, a former employee called about a new job posting. It's in an entirely different position! IT instead...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Aug 2006 17:43:00 GMT

Wedding plans and fractal chaos

See, you make a list to cross things off.  And with a wedding on the horizon, (June 24th, peeps!) there's a big list. The trouble is, the list keeps getting longer. When you start out, you think ...
Posted by on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 18:21:00 GMT

Expatriate does the Alaskan Survey

1. What part of Alaska are you from?Fairbanks!2. How long have you lived in Alaska?Bern'n'razed! Then I went to find my fortune at 193. What is your favorite city/town in Alaska?Healy! Pie, Mountains,...
Posted by on Wed, 24 May 2006 17:46:00 GMT