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I'm Mark Corrigan a long term employee of JLB credit. I live with my flatmate Jez and I have an actual proper girlfriend Sophie. I nearly, very nearly got it on with her but now she lives miles away and we have to have sex on the phone. I wanted to propose but then I realised we had nothing in common so I decided not to, she found the ring and, well you know the rest. My best friend is my boss Alan Johnson. I did mistake some feelings for him but thats all over now its just platonic love. Some people may think I'm not a risk taker, but by avoiding the risk of asking various women out on dates I am taking the greater risk of dying alone, so in fact I'm living on the fucking edge.Don't take drugs, just pretend, its easy...