Satan is getting hitched!

On Diners.
Having alleigances to both Philadelphia and New Jersey, it is somewhat hard to differentiate between the two... what the hell am I talking about?! Jersey has the best diners. Here's a list of the best of the best in the Greater Philadelphia Area, in no particular order
Best of the best (1 = poor; 10 = the best of the best)
1.) The Former Diamond Diner - Route 70 - Cherry Hill (Unrankable - Best of the Best - Closed its doors June 2nd 2003)
One word. Bob. Anyone who went here knows what I mean.
2.) The Cherry Hill Stagecoach Diner (formerly the Windsor Diner) - Route 38 - Cherry Hill (7-8)
Dawn is great, and they make my Roast Beef/Ham/Turkey/American Cheese hoagie with Russian dressing, aka The Chef's Salad Hoagie.
3.) Midtown III - 18th and Ramstead - right next to Chestnut - Philadelphia (Solid 7)
Pat is the best, plus you can't beat the prices, and they have a bar.
4.) Oak Town - Broad Street - North Philadelphia (7)
Pretty far up Broad Street, near LaSalle, but the prices are awesome.
5.) Tunnel Diner - Route 1 outside the Holland Tunnel - Jersey City(6-7)
This is the only North Jersey Diner that I will support, merely for the pricing and the quality of the service, both, namely poor. However, it is quite a nice place.
6.) Golden Pigeon II - Route 130 - Carneys Point (5)
This place definitely has promise, the service is fast, and the prices are relatively inexpensive.
7.) Hollywood Diner - Route 45 and Elm Street - Woodbury Heights (7.5)
Service is usually fast, and is cheaper then Phily.
8.) Phily DIner - Route 168 - Runnemede (7)
This place was originally listed as a diner to avoid, but has become our new home since the closing of the Diamond. The up-side to this specific diner is the Ms. Pacman and Megatouch machine in the lobby, for you crazy kids and your late night excursions.
9.) The Point - Route 52 Circle - Somers Point (9.7)
Excellent service and the food is actually tasty.
Diners to avoid: (1: bad; 10: Castration sounds like a better plan)
1.) Black Horse Diner - Black Horse Pike - Mt. Ephairm (8)
Go here if you want to enjoy watching a funeral while you eat; they yell at you for talking above a whisper.
2.) The Club Diner - Haddonfield-Berlin Road - Voorhees (6)
Had a bad experience while tripping
3.) Gateway Diner - Route 47 - Westville (9)
Four words, "Jamie Griffiths goes here."
4.) Marlton Diner - Route 70 - Marlton (Unrankable - worst of the worst)
Must I really go into detail about this place? The vibes, man...
5.) Silver Diner Restaurant - Route 38 - Cherry Hill (9.95)
There's a reason it's called the Silver Diner Restaurant. No diner closes at Midnight.
6.) South Street Diner - South Street between 2nd and Front - Philadelphia (9.97)
This place is a hellhole, with terrible service, the worst food, and an atmosphere that screams, "Kill yourself, it's faster and easier."
7.) Silver Coin Diner Restaurant - Route 30-54-206 - Hammonton (8)
This place closes at 1.30am. Not open quite long enough to be diner worthy.
8.) Town and County Diner Restaurant - Route 206-130 - Bordentown (6)
Not a too terrible, a mix between a Ponzio's and The Brooklawn Diner. Service is shitty, and it's really out of the way.
If you are truly desperate...
1.) Brooklawn Diner - Brooklawn Circle - Brooklawn (Where else?)
Better than average food, steak and eggs is still under $10.
2.) Colonial Diner - Route 45 - Woodbury
Service is adequate, but there's toooooooo many old people.
3.) Olga's Diner - 70-73 Circle - Marlton
Place is a deathtrap. Plus some guy made fun of the trenchcoat, so I whipped it out (my shotgun, that is)
4.) Mays Landing Diner - Route 40-50 - Mays Landing
Not a bad place, coffee is great, and the muffins are huge.
5.) Malaga Diner - Routes 47 and 40 - Malaga
This place is decent; it can be pricey, but the service isn't too bad.