38415366

I'd like to meet:

God and proove he/she's existance :-) ___________________________________________________________. .
Free MySpace slideshows, photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.comOn December 30th Michael would have been three years old. This is his story. Baby Michael John Calestino was born on December 30th 2005 at 7:57 am. He was 28 weeks and weighed 2 lbs 2 oz. and lived 21 days. In such a short life he touched so many lives. I myself was born with a congenital kidney disease and have been on dialysis since the age of thirteen. I was told at a very young age I would most likely never bear a child of my own. Nine months after my husband John and I were married and a brief visit to my doctor it was confirmed to everyone’s amazing surprise, I was 9 weeks pregnant. There were no major complications the pregnancy went incredibly smooth up until 28 weeks. Because of Michaels decreased heart rate due to loss of amniotic fluid he was born C-section. When he was born I waited anxiously with John for that first cry. A tiny little squeaky cry was heard and I was told he quickly peed all over the neonatologist a very good sign I was told. After a quick peak at him they rushed Michael to the NICU while the doctors finished putting me back together. Before taking me up to my room the nurses were so nice and offered to take me stretcher and all to the NICU so that I may see my little boy for a few minutes since he would not be able to come to me and I was not allowed out of bed for a long while. My first glance at my beautiful little boy was amazing like nothing you could ever imagine your heart could feel. Michael was so tiny I thought. He had bruises all over his face, arms and legs. This was because of the lack of amniotic fluid, and even though the contractions I did have were so mild there was nothing to help cushion his small body during them. To my amazement and to the doctor’s Michael was breathing on his own. The only help was from a CPAP and set on only 1 liter. All his initial vitals were excellent, heart, lungs, and temp. Even his APGAR numbers were good. To everyone’s astonishment my little angel was showing everyone he was taking on the world furiously. We knew that there would be ups and downs throughout Michael’s stay in the NICU but his first 3 days of life had no disturbing results. In fact I was at much relief because everyone in the NICU nurses doctors etc. were so nice and comforting. There was always someone whom we could ask something of and never left to wander aimlessly. Every child born is a beautiful being but I was a little astonished at how much the nurses commented on how beautiful and content Michael was. He was never fussy or cried much and seemed to always be very happy with things as they happened. They said he seemed very much like his parents. A nice compliment I thought. One of the nurses, Nancy even told us that she requested to take care of Michael each time she was on duty. Michael was doing very well and had no major set backs. He was eating through the tube and tolerating the feedings with no problems. He did have a small open wound on his left heal from an infiltrate from an IV but that was healing nicely with no infection. John and I would go to the NICU three to four times a day. We tried to get there for each feeding and change so that we could hold him for a short while. Each time we got there we would ask of Michael’s status and each time we were told,” he is doing great!” He had very little apnea if any, his body temperature was stable and he was progressing with his feedings. After the small weight decline he began to gain weight at a steady pace. The first week passed with no problems then the second and Michael was doing so well that everyone was completely amazed. Then it happened, Saturday morning January 21st at 7:00am we got a call from the NICU. The nurse on the other end said, “Michael has had a set back during the night and you need to get here quick.” Well all I can say is quick was what we did but when we got to the NICU we couldn’t see Michael right away. A doctor came out to speak with us and said that Michael had starting having signs at his 4:00am feeding and since then they have been very busy trying to keep him stabile. At 4:00am he had some aspirate from his previous feeding and his belly was a little distended. From there I guess everything started going wrong. He couldn’t breath, his temp went down and his O2 levels dropped. When we were allowed in to see him the sight was very disheartening. My beautiful baby boy was looking nothing as I had left him only 8 hours earlier. They had to put him on an oscillating ventilator because the pressure in his abdomen was too much for his little lungs. His belly was much distended and his little legs were completely black and blue from lack of oxygen to them from his swollen belly. When I got there and saw him I called out his name, Michael, and he opened his little eyes and looked at me. Everyone there said it, did you see that, he knows you are here. Even so that was no comfort when I saw my small helpless baby boy in such distress. All his vitals started crashing again so we were asked to step out for a moment. The doctor discussed Michael’s condition, this was the first time we heard the words Necrotizing enterocolitis or NEC. They told us what they could about the disease and things that might be done depending on what happened next. The doctor said that they were getting the surgeon down to the NICU to look at Michael and see what may be done to help his failing body, but when the surgeon came back she gave us the feared news. She had put a small drain on both sides of Michael’s little body to help relieve some of the pressure. She noted and told us that there were no viable intestines left in my son. These words still sound in my head. The doctors told us the alarming details of this horrible disease and of the sorrowful outcomes of children of whom they have in the past tried to save. Then it was the realization of what John and I must decide next, try to save him when we knew the outcome would not be a joyous one or to end any suffering and let him go in peace. We with grief-stricken heart we chose the latter. We had the hospital Chaplin called and Michael John Calestino was baptized then in a quiet room with family all around we said our last goodbyes to a sweet life gone to soon. They took Michael off the ventilator and he took his last breath in my arms. I held Michael for nearly 3 hours until I was able to let his little body go. Ten hours from the time he started showing any signs of trouble, and then he was gone. I must say that everyone in the NICU was so endearing to our feelings it was very comforting. I know they have seen death before but their sympathy towards us was very genuine. Now I must share with you the part of the story which I find most astounding. We decided on a small short service in the chapel at the cemetery where Michael would be buried. We of course let our immediate family know of the arrangements but made no formal announcement. We arrived early of course and stood outside the chapel until the short service would begin. Slowly little by little people began to arrive, family members first then close friends then the thing I think most remarkable more friends arrived. Then more friends and persons with whom I work with, colleges and my boss, and even clients with whom I had shared moments at work about my pregnancy. People from my old job where I no longer was an employee showed. Then doctors and nurses and even clerks from the hospital arrived to show their respect. Nearly 100 people were there at that small chapel. My little man whom was shining in this life for so brief a time touched so many lives with just his presence. Even though the loss of our son will never leave us, to know how much we are loved and how much Michael was loved by so many puts a comforting sound to my heart. For what ever or why ever Michael was given and then taken away so quickly will never be clear to me in this life time. But to know that people can show such love for a life they barely knew and for some whom never met him just shows that this world has much good in it even in the darkest of times.Never be afraid to do what your heart desires.