Florida Cracker - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I let out a deep sigh, and wipe my brow with the handkerchief tucked carelessly in the front pocket of my jeans. I look down at them, torn in a few places, and beginning to wear out at the bottom, where stringy cotton danglers meet my old rattlesnake boots. Further up, there's quite a bit of hydraulic fluid from the tractor I have been trying to fix for the better part of the morning, and grease from the sockets and ratchets that call the back bed of my old beat up Ford pickup it's home. Lord knows these jeans have seen better days, but hell, ain't we all? Oh yeah, they are just starting to get broke in good how I like 'em. I fall back gently and come to rest in the old wooden rocking chair on the front porch, and close my eyes as the wood flooring keep a perfect rhythm underneath me, allowing the old rocker bows to glide smoothly across them, as if it was intended for that very purpose by God Himself. I stop rocking abruptly as a thought races through my head, stopping me long enough to hear a slow moving, refreshingly cool summer wind roar through the top of the pines just near the edge of the field. You see, that's the beauty of wind. It's powerful enough to let you know it's there, and visible only because of the end result of it's presence. It's soothing, relaxing, and brings new life into your lungs from another part of the land. It is that wind that is the essence of each of us, the common denominator. The cicadas in the woods ring out in a loud chorus of agreement, and I tuck the handkerchief back in my pocket. I walk inside, and pull the guitar out of it's case, pour a glass of sweet tea into a mason jar, just washed this morning after breakfast, and head out to the porch for a few hours of quality time with the land that I love.

My Interests

Oh you know, typical backwoods stuff. Strummin geetar, huntin', fishin', bein' outdoors, hangin' out with friends at cookouts, workin hard, makin' a little money, and treating the ol lady properly.

I'd like to meet:

If I weren't me, I would really like to meet me. However, since I am me, I think it would be cool to spend some time with folks like Duane Allman, Ronnie Van Zant, Hank Williams Jr., and non-musicians as well. I think it would be cool to hang with some baseball players or something. I would like to cop a feel off some of them celebrity chicks, but would never bring 'em home to meet momma. I think Abe Lincoln would be cool to meet. I would really like to meet Lewis and Clark so we could go explore some shit. We would jsut be sittin around a campfire, and Lewis would jump up and startle us, and say, "Clark, grab your shit, we gonna strike out to the south in search of...umm...well, crawdads maybe, I am starving!"Those are my kind of people.

My Blog

Cast iron Skilling and Kenneth Lay "Onya stomach"

So, I am watching a bit of the news yesterday after I got home. I went down to Clearwater Beach on an overnight fishing trip in the gulf, and absolutely murdered the snapper, got a couple red groupers...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Fri, 26 May 2006 09:33:00 PST

Rocked and Ready

Well, just stopping to to say hi and sorry for not writing much lately. The more I write offline, the less I write online. It's a freaky parallel, but there it is. My excuse. Only a couple more weeks ...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Fri, 31 Mar 2006 01:49:00 PST

The Last Wish of a "Hongry" Southern Man

It's one thing to sit around and watch the southern way of life disappearing, but dammit, I have to draw the line when it comes to southern cuisine. When people start bitching about my eating habits, ...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 06:55:00 PST

Beware the Ides of March

What a crock Shakespeare is. Honestly, as a writer, and a self-proclaimed reasonably intelligent person, I completely respect the man's literary and theatric contributions to civilization. But Jeez ...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 06:12:00 PST

I guess I am just old-fashioned...

I had to go to the airport Tuesday morning in Jacksonville. While there, I wanted a cup of coffee. I saw a Starbucks and just had to try it. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, what made it a...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 06:52:00 PST

For all us manly-man tool guys out there...

As winter fades, and spring creeps around the corner, many of us manly men begin fixing things with renewed vigor. Here is your guide to the tools you may encounter in this futile and meaningless ques...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Tue, 07 Feb 2006 07:17:00 PST

I mean, really...who would have thought a whale would be so heavy?

This may well be the most boring blog post you have ever read. Bear with me. I show up to the office at 7:00 this morning, hungover -- scratch that -- still drunk, from Superbowl night. I couldn't ev...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Mon, 06 Feb 2006 05:57:00 PST

Hell, where do I start?

First, by getting my tired ass a cup of coffee. Be back in a few. There's a lot of stuff been happening lately, and I can't go into details about one new project I have going. Let's just say it's a n...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 07:19:00 PST

UPDATE UPDATE OMIGOD UPDATE

Nothing new, sorry. Just updating, haven't written in a while. Been busier than a 2-legged cat burying a turd on a frozen pond. Been hunting a lot, killed 70 quail in our three-person group on Wednesd...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 07:33:00 PST

Christmas Thoughts

I love Christmas. Perhaps it's because even as I got older, I still have always believed in Santa Clause. Maybe not the plump old man in red that inhabited my mind as a small child, but the spirit o...
Posted by Florida Cracker on Thu, 22 Dec 2005 06:36:00 PST