Sam - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Once upon a time, in a land only about two miles away from where I'm sitting, a woman got knocked up by...her husband. Can your husband knock you up? Even when you already have a kid? Who knows, anyway, nine months later I made my debut into the world, and critics have been furious ever since. My sister played a big role in destroying any self esteem I had, but only until she became a man. Then I stopped listening. At the age of 4 my parents figured if I was going to make noise, then I would do it right, so they enrolled me in piano lessons. I don't remember a single thing, except that the teacher had puppets. Then when I was 8 years old I started playing the flute, and anytime anyone hears that now they immediantly say "One time at band camp..." When I was 9 or 10 I finally got a guitar, and learned to rock out with my cock out...except I didn't have a cock. But I always wanted one, I heard roosters make great pets. Around that time I fell into BMX, where I found the community of misfits I'd always longed for...for about the 10 years of my life. I've been riding ever since, and vaule the friendships and the lessons that you can only get from a 30 year old riding a little kids bike. And now here I am. One of those friends, Sara, told me sign up for MySpace because I have that much time on my hands. It's 2am now, and I think I'm spending my precious time on earth wisely. As are you.

My Interests

I like the California Freestyle bicycles, aka BMX.
I like running up cell phone bills, but hate talking on the phone.
I like playing my guitar while I have hang nails.
I like self promotion ( www.GreenLakeBMX.com !)
I like E! but hate celebritism.
I like any food with tomatoes and cheese.
I like long discussions about genitals, mine in particular.
I like getting kicked out of skateparks.
I like being able to ride a skatepark.
I like TV, but hate movies.
I like loud mouths, but hate NPR.
I like piercings, but hate when they don't heal properly.

But most of all...

I like telling you what I like.

I'd like to meet:

The man who fathered my child. I mean...um...

Movies:

I don't have the attention span to sit through a 2 hour movie. However, I have been able to sit through and enjoy "a League of Their Own" "Anywhere but Here" and "Woman of the Year"..basically, chick flicks.

Books:

Ones with words. And a couple pictures are nice, too.

Heroes:

Tiffany Broncato is a badass!

My Blog

if Tony shaved and I got skinny...

...we'd still keep it real at home.
Posted by Sam on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 05:17:00 PST

all in all

I'm proud of that boy of mine.
Posted by Sam on Sat, 04 Aug 2007 01:26:00 PST

beach body called

it said it's hungry for a muffin top. so to Red Robin we'll be a-goin'.
Posted by Sam on Thu, 31 May 2007 03:18:00 PST

enraged

and underage. copyright that shit. word?
Posted by Sam on Wed, 23 May 2007 12:34:00 PST

familiar.

I hate you....
Posted by Sam on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 01:50:00 PST

hillary swank is still my mirror

the other day at safeway tony and I had this sweet older woman as our checker... (to me) "isn't he cute?" "hell yes!" - me "well, isn't she cute for that matter?" "hell yes!" - tony "how long have you...
Posted by Sam on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 08:08:00 PST

Sam vs. Samantha

someone has decided, for maketing purposes (not you Bea, no worries!), that I should be called Samantha. this is fine. but please note that if you yell "SAMANTHA!" across a room (assuming ...
Posted by Sam on Sun, 18 Mar 2007 01:11:00 PST

3tahfakie?

yeah...f that.
Posted by Sam on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 12:43:00 PST

an attempt to be jeff foxworthy

if you like your women so skinny they are lacking boobs and hips, if you like your women to take the time and physical pain to be hairless below the collar bone, if you like your women so naive t...
Posted by Sam on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 01:06:00 PST

you know you need to cobian yourself when...

you tell someone to listen to a britney spears song to show your feelings. or, if you're just britney spears and you're being told to "take a shower" (ps: I'm trying to make "cobain" a verb......
Posted by Sam on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:22:00 PST