I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! profile picture

I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!!

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!""DIS IZ 4 MI NIGGAZ DAT B BUSTIN BAK @ PERPATRAITOR.. WE DONT DISCRIMINATE, WE'LL HURT U NOW..WE'LL HURT U LATA""DONT U EVA TRY 2 TAKE MY CASH FROM ME... U MITE EXPERIENCE JUMPIN OFF A CLIFF U FUKKIN CRASH DUMMY.. LIKE DATZ MY LAS MONEY""I SMOKE.. I DRANK.. IM SUPPOSE 2 STOP BUT I CANT""HEY ITZ JUS A DAY IN DA LYFE.. KLUB NITES 1 OF DA REASONS I LOVE LYFE""I KNO U DIGGIN ME.. IM DIGGIN U.. SO WUTZ DA HOLD UP""IM FROM RAGGS 2 RICHES NIGGAZ I AINT DUMM.. I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT 1"" ALL MURDA'S PREMEDITAITED"" WHERE MY NIGGAS WIT DA RUBBER GRIPS.. BUST SHOTS.. N IF U WIT ME MA.. IM RUBBIN UR TITS..N WUT NOT""DAMN GURL UR BREATH IS HARSH.. COVER UR MOUF UP LIKE U GOT SARS""DONT GET MADD @ ME.. I DONT LOVE EM.. I'LL FUK EM.. I DONT CHASE EM.. I DUCK EM N REPLACE EM WIT ANUTHA 1""IM JUS PLAYIN DA CARDZ GOD CHOSE 4 ME.. JIGGA MAN.. WHO U SUPPOSE 2 B??"" I FEEL LIKE A FELON WIT 2 STRIKES.. MADD BULLSHIT.. DATS LYFE.. I'VE DUN SEEN EVRITHING BUT CHRIST""I CANT PUT MY GLOKK UP.. MY GLOKK IZ MY HO... N MY HO GO EVRIWHERE I GO""ON DA LO.. SHAWTY GOT A THANG 4 DA KIDD.. N U KNO.. IM FUNNA TAKE HER BAK 2 DA CRIB""DEY WYLD IN DA EAST.. N DEY LIVE IN DA STREETS.. SO IMMA KEEP MY PIECE.. SITTIN ON DA FRONT SEAT""WONDER Y I DONT CONSIDER DEM NO COMPETITION?? NO VISION.. LIL AMBITION.. HOW I FEEL BOUT DEM PUSSY..AM I WORRIED?? R U KIDDIN??""BOWSER'S TRYN 2 GET HEAD RITE NOW FROM DA PRINCESS.. BUT IF ITZ UP 2 ME.. DAT SHIT WILL STOP DIS INSTANCE.."" ITZ MY CRUSADE 2 GET MARIO LAID.. SUPER MARIO BROS. BEST GAME EVA MADE""I TREAT U BITCHES LIKE SIMMON SAYS.. OPEN VAGINA.. PUT UR LEGS BHIND UR HEAD""B4 I L EAVE HOUSE.. IM SLIPPIN ON DA GOOSE.. N IM HYER DEN A PLANE.. SO A NIGGA REALLY LOOSE"


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You are Green Lantern Green Lantern 80% Superman 70% The Flash 70% Catwoman 70% Hulk 65% Iron Man 65% Spider-Man 60% Supergirl 60% Wonder Woman 60% Batman 50% Robin 50% Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
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Name: JR
Birthdate: 1-28-85 BITCHES
Birthplace: HIALEAH
Current Location: IN UR MOMZ ROOM... SHHH.. DONT TELL..
Eye Color: BROWN
Hair Color: I SAY DARK BROWN (but really blak)
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 158 LBS OF STR8 PIMP
Piercings: SI... GOT MY EARS PIERCE
Tatoos: NA... STILL WORKIN ON DA DESIGN...
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: NOPE... JUS GOT ALOTTA FRIENDS
Overused Phraze: FUK IT
FAVORITES
Food: IMMA.. MEAT N POTATOES KINDA GUY
Candy: GOBSTOPPERS.. THEY'RE DA BEST 2 THRO IN THEATERZ
Number: 1 NIGGA DAMN
Color: GREEEEEEEEEEEEN... I CAN NAME SO MANY THINGS DAT I LOVE DATZ GREEN
Animal: A COW.. I WOOD LOVE 2 HAV 4 STOMACHS..
Drink: CREAM SODA (2 bad i can neva find dat shit)
Alcohol Drink: VODKA WIT A SPLASH OF OJ
Bagel: DA RAISIN 1.... DAT SHITS GOOOOD
Letter: F.. (& SUMTYMES) U
Body Part on Opposite sex: T.N.A. ALL DA WAY...
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: DID SUM1 SAY COKE???
McDonalds or BurgerKing: MICKEY D'Z BABI
Strawberry or Watermelon: STRAWBERRY.. I AINT TRYN 2 HOLD NO WATERMELON
Hot tea or Ice tea: ICE.. ICE.. BABI
Chocolate or Vanilla WUT CAN I SAY.. IM COO COO 4 COCOA PUFFS
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: KOFFEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Kiss or Hug: SKIP DA 4PLAY.. LETS JUS HOP IN DA SAK..
Dog or Cat: WUT BOUT A FISH??
Rap or Punk: RAP
Summer or Winter: WINTER.. I HATE FEELIN LIKE IM MELTIN
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: FUNNY MOVIES.. SCARY MOVIES R WAKK
Love or Money: C.R.E.A.M. DOLLA.. DOLLA BILLS YA'LL
YOUR...
Bedtime: WUTZ DAT???
Most Missed Memory: GOIN DUMPSTER DIVEN WIT MY MOM.. THANX 4 DA TETNA SHOTS, MOM
Best phyiscal feature: I KEEP HEARIN MY TEETH... WHO DA FUK SAYS TEETH????
First Thought Waking Up: WHERE'S MY BEER.....
Goal for this year: 2 B IN COLLEGE...
Best Friends: UR MOM....
Weakness: GIRLS.... GOD BLESS 'EM THO
Fears: A STANK PUSSY & RICHARD SIMMONS
Heritage: IM A FUKKIN JEDI.. N WUT HOE??
Longest relationship: I THINK I HAD A LIQOUR BOTTLE IN DA FRIDGE 4 LIKE A WEEK..
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: DA FUK DO U THINK??? IM 21 JAK ASS..
Ever Smoked: SHIT.. I WUZ FOGGIN OUT IN MY MOMZ BELLY B4 I WUZ BORN..
Pot: WUT.. U OFFERIN???
Ever been Drunk: I THINK DA REAL QUESTION IS HAV I EVA BIN SOBER..
Ever been beaten up: HELL YEA.. MY MOMZ DONT DAT SHIT!!
Ever beaten someone up: WEN I STOPPD TAKIN SHIT FROM MY MOM
Ever Shoplifted: WHO TOLD U???
Ever Skinny Dipped: YEA.. DUZNT EVRI1....
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: HELLS YEA.. MOMZ A GR8 KISSER
Been Dumped Lately: FUK NO.....
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: GREEN
Favorite Hair Color: BROWN
Short or Long: LONG
Height: I DONT GIV A FUK.. A MIGGIT.. A GIANT.. JUS THRO IT MY WAY..
Style: IF U SAY PARIS HILTON IZ UR IDOL.. I'LL PUNCH U IN DA FACE
Looks or Personality: LOOKS..
Hot or Cute HOT
Drugs and Alcohol: SOUNDZ LIKE A PARTY 2 ME..
Muscular or Really Skinny: GIV A DAWG A BONE NIGGA
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: NO REGRETS HERE.. NUTTIN BUT CLEAR SKIES
What country do you want to Visit: JAPAN.. I WANA DRINK SAKI WIT MR. ROBOTO
How do you want to Die: HAVIN SEX..DAT WAY IM DA LAS GUY DAT GURL SLEEPS WIT.. CUZ WHO'Z GUN FUK A GURL DAT KILLD A NIGGA
Been to the Mall Lately: NOPE.. NOT MY STYLE
Do you like Thunderstorms: YEA.. I LIKE B'IN COOPD UP IN 1 AREA...
Get along with your Parents: EVER SINCE I MOVED OUT..
Health Freak: O.. IZ DAT WEN U EAT 2 DUBL CHZ BURGERS.. WIT LARGE FRIES. . N A CUP OF GREASE??
Do you think your Attractive: WELL MY MOM SAYZ IM HANDSOME..
Believe in Yourself: HELL YEA.. IM DA MASTER OF MY ABILITIES
Want to go to College: SUMDAY
Do you Smoke: IM SMOKIN RITE NOW
Do you Drink: TILL DA DAY I DIE
Shower Daily: SI.... I ALWAYS GO SWIMMIN IN DA POOL
Been in Love: I CANT SAY I LOVE U... I DONT KNO WUT DAT MEANS.. IMMA PIMP
Do you Sing: I AINT NO SNITCH
Want to get Married: SURE.. WHO DUZNT WANT 2 END THEIR LIFE B4 DEY HAV2
Do you want Children: YEA CUZ I LOVE GOIN 2 DA POLICE STATION
Have your future kids names planned out: I DONT EVEN HAV MY PUPPY NAMED YET... I'VE HAD HER 4 2 MONTHS NOW!!
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: OOPS.... 2 LATE
Hate anyone: DAT AINT WORTH MY TYME

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DATZ MY GURLZ.....................TALK ABOUT BONIN................


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MyHotComments AINT IT DA TRUTH....Birdman & Lil Wayne - You Aint Know

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My Blog

INNER ME..

THEY SAY @ 4 &  1/2 MONTHS, THA HUMAN FETUS HAS A REPTILE'S TAIL.. A REMINANT OF OUR EVOLUTION.. N MAYB THAT'S WUT I CANT ESCAPE.. U CAN FIGHT ALOT OF ENEMIES N SURVIVE.. BUT IF U FIGHT ...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 03:27:00 PST

GRUNKEN SURVEY

Drunk Survey 1. Have you ever been drunk? DA QUESTION IZ HAV I EVA BIN SOBER..2. How old were you the first time you got drunk?6.. N I WRECKD DA BOTTLE OF RUM BI MYSELF3. Have you ever gotten/given di...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Tue, 29 May 2007 08:00:00 PST

HAHA.. MR. TUFF GUY....

SO I'M MEETIN UP 1 OF MY HOMEBOIZ' @ BEST WESTERN... I GUESS SUM SHIT WUZ BOUT 2 POP OFF WIT HIZ SISTA.. SO I COME 3 DEEP IN A SINGLE CAB TRUCK.. LOL.. LIKE A TRU CHICO!.. SO WE'RE OUT SIDE DA HOTEL W...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Wed, 16 May 2007 03:07:00 PST

ME?.. A CHEATER!?!

NO MA.. I AM NOT A CHEATER.. CUZ CHEATIN IZ 4  MARRIED PPL.. N U N I.. DONT HAV DEM METAL RINGZ.. SO IM JUS SIMPLY EXPLORIN MY OPTIONZ.. N I HAV NO ATTACHMENTZ 2 OR WIT U.. SO HOLLA IF U HEAR ME!...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Sun, 13 May 2007 04:34:00 PST

MY MASTER PLAN........

IM REALLY STRICT BOUT NOT TELLIN ANY1.. SORRI.. I WILL TELL U DAT ITZ DA BEST THING DAT I CAN DO 4 MYSELF.. N IM REALLY PROUD DAT I DID TAKE DA INITIATIVE OF ACTUALLY PUTTIN  ASIDE MY HABITZ.. N ...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 05:52:00 PST

A WISE MAN ONCE TOLD ME.....

DIS WISE MAN WENT BI DA NAME OF DA GR8 BORRACHO... HE SAID 2 ME B4 HIS DEATH DAT.. " 4 A MAN 2 TRUELY B HAPPY.. HE MUST HAV DA LOVE OF HIS WIFE, MISTRESS, N GIRLFRIEND.. 4  MAN IS DA MOST LOVIN B...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 03:39:00 PST

R U A HAM N EGGS KINDA PERSON OR A CHICKEN PERSON?????

WUT DA FUK AM I TALKIN ABOUT??? WELL ITZ PLAIN N SIMPLE.. DIS IZ A QUESTION ABOUT COMMITMENT.. DA HAM N EGGS R COMMITED.. THERE IZ NO 1 WITH OUT DA UTHA.. DA HAM N EGGS HAV NO DESIRE 2 B BI DEM SELVES...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 06:19:00 PST

WHEN U BLINK.....

SOMETIMES LOVE IS RITE IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES.. AND THEN YOU BLINK.. AND IN THAT MILLA SECOND.. YOU FIND YOURSELF IN LIMBO.. WHERE EVERYTHING IS NOTHING.. AND YOUR STANDING NOWHERE.. IT'S WHERE A COMPA...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 11:14:00 PST

SO I MADE MY MOM CRY ON MUTHA'Z DAY........

BUT  DONT GET IT TWISTED.. NOT LIKE I PUNCHED HER IN DA FACE OR NUTTIN LIKE DAT.. I DID ALOT OF THINKIN.. N I KNO MY MOM AINT ALWAYZ GUN B AROUND(SHE'Z GOT CANCER) SO I REALLY DONT KNO HOW LONG S...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Sun, 28 May 2006 03:34:00 PST

POOR OLD MANN

SO I WUZ GOIN 2 WORK YESTADAY.. N I WITNESSD AN OLD MAN LOOSE CONTROL OF HIS CAR N DO A TOTAL 180 ON DA TURNPIKE.. POOR GUY.. HE PROLLY THAWT HE WUZ ON A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE... CUZ DAT NIGGA WUZ CHEEZI...
Posted by I GOT RID OF MY OLD BITCH.. NOW I GOT NU HOZ!!! on Wed, 17 May 2006 09:36:00 PST