I've lived in many modes of existence in these three decades, some might say I've packed a lot of living in too short a time. A person's twenties finds them stumbling, faltering onto the scene of the world, hopefully prepared but usually not.
I've followed the pied piper, known the loneliness of a princess locked in a cold tower, and grown wings in order to make my escape to the sky. I've crash landed, even looked for love in all the wrong places! When a new love arrived within me I grew old and started to grow up. I learned that one should ask for help when they need it; it does not pay to be a prisoner of pride. I've lived on a wing and a prayer, tasted panic, and faced down madness and the demons they escort at the kaleidoscope ball. I've been lifted, have been covered, and fell out. I've searched for a reality to create. I always seem to make my own way, even through a time of homelessness. I am too adventurous to allow myself to become too jaded. The core philosophy, if one could call it so, that drives me is optimism. Through hellrides and hibernations I stubbornly cling to the mantra that everything happens for a reason, and that things will work out for the best. Some call it fate, some call it God's plan, but in my estimation it's all the same. At any rate, living on a wing and a prayer along with my open heart allowed me to find another mode of existence, or rather, find the start of my existence, one that allowed time and support for me to flourish. I have no fear of the cold tower any more, and with my knight I've come to a place where we could build our kingdom of children and land. For a girl grown to woman who lived a primarily nomadic life, the change was due and well-received. So with the foundation we commissioned, with every tree we plant, we root ourselves to this rich life set with 99 cent dinner plates and homebrewed ales. I've landed in a soft place surrounded by the sharp, savage beauty of the wet desert, blessed with the company of my best friend. I awaken to discover that I feel like I'm finally home again, perhaps for the first time, and that whatever misadventures I tumbled through on the ebb and flow of the tide of life, the time had come to unfurl the sail and embark with purpose.
This is where you will find me as I start the next decade of my life as an honest-to-goodness grown woman who still cultivates her child-like wonder even as she hangs the laundry out to dry. Some eschew the progression of age as a parasite devouring their vitality but I've come to realize that nothing can tear you asunder unless you allow it to do so. Therefore, I exist, I think, I learn, love, and explore. I'm silly -- most definitely cheesy -- and I'm funny. I found that once I stopped listening to what everyone else said I was, I found the real me... and I kinda like her. I ruffle her hair every once in a while much to her chagrin. I guard her with a ferocity against those who would lead her astray. I nudge her into uncharted territory when she feels timid. I also remind her that while cynicism has it's benefits, like everything it will sour life when one overindulges.
So we strive for balance here. And love.
In everything, we love.
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