Sausage King of LA - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a very simple individual. I like to party, I like to eat, I like to have sex. I find pictures of animals having sex very, very funny. I'm easily entertained by fart jokes and penis jokes.

I view life as one big party. And it usually starts here. You know that one guy who always acts like a jackass in parties? Yup, that's me! :)

Hell, who really needs a party to act like a jackass? All I need is my trusty friend, Jack, and it's all over.

I recently graduated from the Academy of the Pimping Arts, where I earned my Masters of Pimping. I am now working towards my certification, but I'm about 5 hos short. So, all you hos out there, if you're looking for a Pimp Extraordinaire, give me a holla'!

And here's a link to one of the greatest party props ever .

My Interests

Slappin' the bitches, pimpin' the hos...

I'd like to meet:

I'm looking for people who want a little spice in their life. I'm looking for people who have nothing to live for. I'm looking for people who think that this is the best that it gets. I'm looking for people who can't get Sparky to stop being gay.

Because after having met me, the Sausage King of LA, the professional party animal of the 2000s, life will take on a whole new meaning!

Music:

80s, country, trance, techno, big band

Movies:

Aliens, Predator, Saving Private Ryan, Wierd Science, Loverboy, Blazing Saddles, Army of Darkness, Eurotrip

Television:

Battlestar Galactica, The Simpsons, Futurama, The Family Guy, Good Eats, MXC, Iron Chef, Entourage, Rome

Books:

The Cryptonomicon, The Lord of the Rings, Red Storm Rising, Pimpin' Aint Easy, The Streets of Hollywood

Heroes:

Tucker Max, Maddox

My Blog

Third Time's a Charm

Some of you have met her. Many of you have not. But the one question remains: How the heck did it happen? ...or something like that. I believe the exact questions are as follows: "ho...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 02:44:00 PST

The [Mis]Adventures of Marc, Part V: Graduation, or the Lack Thereof

It's been a while since I wrote my last [mis]adventure and it appears that people have been waiting for the next installment. My schedule has been hectic, and thus I haven't had time to actually...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Sat, 27 Aug 2005 04:31:00 PST

College Advice

I wrote this a few years ago for a couple of friends who were just about to embark on their college career. Having already gone through college, I've often caught myself thinking, "If I could go...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Wed, 09 Aug 2006 05:25:00 PST

The Twink Generation

I know, I know.... You're all probably waiting for a [Mis]Adventure of Marc. Instead, you're getting something of intellectual value. From me? Yes, from me. I figure this might...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Sat, 10 Dec 2005 04:47:00 PST

The [Mis]Adventures of Marc, Part VI: Fight Like a Man

Note: I was going to call this one "Drunk and Belligerent," but I decided against it seeing as to how that title could work for all of my stories. Sharkeez, home away from home. It's like my own...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Thu, 06 Oct 2005 04:11:00 PST

The [Mis]Adventures of Marc, Part IV: "Drank What?"

As promised, this section is a follow up to the last installment of the misadventures of yours truly.I'm sure many of you have actually snuck into bars while underaged. I did. Hell, I know...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The [Mis]Adventures of Marc, Part III: 24-Hour Quiet Blues

This edition and the next edition of The [Mis]Adventures of Marc focus on the first week of school on my senior year at LMU. We lived in Tenderich Apartments. For those who are unfamiliar ...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The [Mis]Adventures of Marc, Part II: The Night I Outdrank Steve

I have come to another recent revelation: my friends are assholes too. On the surface, the guys and I are probably some of the greatest people you'll ever meet in your life. Especially whe...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The [Mis]Adventures of Marc, Part I: Rabbit Hunt

I look back at my life and I think to myself, "Goddamn, I was an asshole." I never started out this way though. At one point, I was the only reason my brothers' friends would let them go o...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Nothing like 80s music...

Not that it took me this long to come to this conclusion, but it took me this long to articulate this sentiment: 80's music is the greatest music ever! EVER! EVARRRRR! ARRRRRRRR!! ME BE LOOKI...
Posted by The Sausage King of LA on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST