Pasick

“Begin each day as if it were on purpose”
Alex Hitchens
"Let me be as weird as I fuckin' like. It's my fuckin' life."
Eddie Vedder
“You wanna know what dream really scared me as a kid, used to actually TOTALY give me nightmares! Remember those Kool-Aid commercials? Where that big talking bowl of punch, he would come crashing through your fucking wall in you're living room? You wouldn't even know and he'd be like *PPFFFFFF* “OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!” Right? And the little kids were all excited "YES YES!" And then they would drink out of him after debris fell in his open, dumb head. He would pour himself "OH YEAH! OH YEAH!" Him and his crazy tights, I don't like that, I don't like when juice wears tights, it's a horrible combination a bowl of juice wearing tights. FUCK drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like, "No no no you fix that wall before my dad gets home from work, he's gonna beat me with a toaster, he's not gonna believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came crashing in here. You stupid idiot. Yea, coming through the wall is real fucking cool, USING THE FRONT DOOR IS COOL! Don't touch me you drink! Don't touch me you giant beverage! You are sweating or condensating I will kick you in the tights and you will go down you're very top heavy. You glass bitch! You glass bastard! "OH YEAH!" "OH NO! Naughty naughty Kool-Aid!" "Oh yeah?" "No." "Oh yeah?" "No."”
Dane Cook
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
Jack Handey
“Good men drink good beer”
Hunter S Thompson
“You can’t be neutral on a moving train…”
Howard Zinn
“Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory… lasts forever.”
Shane Falco
"Breakfast is the only meal of the day that I tend to view with the same kind of traditionalized reverence that most people associate with Lunch and Dinner. I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas or at home — and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed — breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess. The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crepes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned beef hash with diced chiles, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of Key lime pie, two margaritas, and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert…. Right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours and at least one source of good music…. All of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked."
Hunter S. Thompson
“The most important part of travel is when you come home, because that's when you see your country with new eyes. I was amazed to realize that we are the only country that tells the rest of the world, on a nearly constant basis, that we are the greatest country on Earth. And that is a little fuckin' obnoxious. And I know it's obnoxious, because if you were in an office, and there was someone there who came in everyday and said, 'I'M THE GREATEST FUCKER HERE! AND YOU SNIVELING SHITS WOULD DIE WITHOUT ME!!' I can guarantee you by the end of the week you'd have killed him, and eaten him, just to try to possess his power.”
Lewis Black
“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.”
Aristotle
“Here's another question I have. How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness. Name 6 ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No. You don't see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When's the last chicken you heard about come home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn't happen, 'cause chickens are decent people.”
George Carlin
“Fear not the path of truth, for the lack of people walking on it.”
Robert F Kennedy
“True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...”
Mitch Martin
“Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities — the political, the religious, the educational authorities — who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing — forming in our minds — their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself.”
Timothy Leary
“I'm not even supposed to be here today!”
Dante Hicks
“It's never good to be undecided. I'll give you a perfect example: the mullet. Do I want it short? Do I want it long? I just can't take a stand. I guess that explains why there are so many indecisive people in Canada. That's the only thing that looks bad about Canada these days.”
Eddie Vedder
“Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away”
Alex Hitchens
“Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, ‘I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother.’ He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.”
George Carlin
“An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way; an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way”
Charles Bukowski
"I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..."
-"Speak to Me"
“That Animal Channel is crazy. Then that little fuckin' Australian dude comes out. He's always yelling at the camera, "Hello... come on follow me, let's go. Come on, let's go on an adventure!" I'm in my living room putting my pants on "I'm coming! Where are my keys? I gotta pick this guy up. WHAT LAGOON ARE YOU IN?" That dude's nuts. I seen an episode the other day, he comes to a lake there's like 14 crocodiles snapping, rolling around. He looks at the camera he goes, "I'm gonna dive in, just to see what happens." He's walking through the woods like, "Look a beehive. I'm gonna shove my head in, take a look around. Gorgeous, gorgeous! Come on, follow me as I bitch-slap this baboon. Gorgeous! I'm gonna shove my balls in this horses mouth and hit him with a lead pipe. Join me tomorrow when I rape a cow just for spite! Crikey!"”
Dane Cook
"Have you ever watched like a cartoon that you used to watch when you were little, as an adult? I was sittin there with my nephew. I turned it on Sesame Street. And I was like Oh good. Sesame Street. Now he'll learn how to count and spell. But now I'm watching it as an adult and I realize that Sesame Street teaches kids other things. It teaches kids how to judge people and label people, thats right. They got this one character named Oscar. They treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right to his face. 'Oscar you are so mean. Isn't he kids?' 'Yeah Oscar, you're a grouch!' He's like 'Bitch I live in a fucking trash can! I'm the poorest mother fucker on Sesame Street. Nobody's helpin me.' Now you wonder why your kids grow up and step over homeless people, like 'Get it together, grouch. Get a job, grouch.' "
Dave Chappelle
“Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.”
Victor Hugo
“There is only one better thing than music - live music.”
Jacek Bukowski
“Never trust anyone who doesn’t drink and doesn’t smoke!”
Crazy Joe the Barber
“Have you ever noticed, in traffic, anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac! ‘Would you look at this idiot? Take a look at this idiot right here, just creeping along … woah, look at that maniac go!’”
George Carlin
“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing”
Charles Bukowski
“Bush lied to me, they all lied to me: "We gotta go to Iraq because they're the most dangerous country on Earth. They're the most dangerous regime in the world." If they're so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks to take over the whole fucking country? Shit. Man, you couldn't take over Baltimore in two weeks.”
Chris Rock
“Give me a woman who truly loves beer, and I will conquer the world”
Wilhelm II of Germany
"If its free, its for me"
JMB
“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
Tyler Durden