December 2008I am so happy. I am amazed. The other night while driving home, I realized this has been the best year of my life. That includes the year I married my husband and each year that I gave birth to my three children.I know this sounds strange after having had cancer this year, but it is true. God has shown me how good He is and we have gotten to spend some special time together. He healed me from that cancer. I had extended time to be poured into my some very loving women.I have known all along that my husband wants to take care of me. However, I am not the type that wants to be taken care of. Or so I thought. While going through this whole cancer process and when I was really sick and basically in my bed or a hospital bed for two months, he was there taking care of me. While in the hospital he slept there in my room 24/7 even though I kept telling him to go home and get some rest. I can't say here how he physically cared for me, but suffice it to say that he went above and beyond what I ever dreamed of.You know when you say those vows "for better, for worse, in sickness and in health" you don't think about cancer while you are at the altar. May I say hear and now that Chris has more than fulfilled his marital vows. Wow! He positively glowed the whole time he was taking care of me. I thought he was out of his mind waiting on me hand and foot, taking care of my every need including needs I wasn't aware of. His focus was on me and it was so intense and he was so happy. I started thinking, good grief look at him, I am going to have to come up with ways to let him take care of me when I am well and I had better start thinking about this now. I am so blessed.The closest I came to seeing fear in my husband was when I became paralyzed (temporarily - though we didn't know it was temporary). He was rushing me to the hospital and calliing doctors and driving very fast, but very safe. My husband is my knight.God also showed my how what a wonderful friend I have in Shelly. She went to almost every chemo session with me and kept my mind off the toxins pouring into me. We were giggling and laughing so hard at a chemo session that one of the nurses had to come ask us to keep it down a bit. I actually had joy during chemo!She came to visit me in the hospital each time I was in and brought embroidery supplies to keep me busy. Funny thing is when she brought them, the nurse came in and shot me full of morphine and Shelly saw my eyes glaze over and said "I can't wait to see your needle work!" and laughed. I guess that is only funny if you know what nuts she and I are about our stitching. Sound like a couple of old ladies don't we. Well we aren't, so there phtttttttttttttttttttt!My children have been great through this as well. Joel is a lot like his dad. He kept checking on me and if I winced in pain at all he was all over it, "Mom are you ok?"I think Hannah took it hardest, she kind of shut herself off and I understand completely. Cancer is a terrible and scarey thing. But she and I have had long and deep conversations about it, lots of tears from both of us and I think she is ok now. Bless her sweet heart.Mom told me she thought I was going to die this summer and I had the blessed ability to tell her I never thought that myself (I may have wanted to, but I never thought I was going to). I knew from the beginning I was going to kick devil butt (yes I used the "b" word) and win. I never doubted that. My God is bigger than cancer and bigger than Satan.I said from the beginning, even if this is unto death, I still win and you still lose devil cause I still go to heaven and you still go to hell!!!I have received prayers and scriptures from people I have never met lifting me up before the Lord.My employer has been fabulous, allowing me to work from home so I wouldn't lose 9 months worth of pay, plus the bonus for this year.My Pastor and his wife have been wonderful lifting me and visiting me! They are truly failthful in their calling.I almost feel like George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life". God has shown me in an undeniable way how blessed I am. It IS a wonderful life! I still win. Satan still goes to hell!See ya!
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How He Loves Us - Kim Walker / Jesus Culture http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps
Wow Glory to God and Praise Him Oh just Praise Him for the love he has shed for you and me!
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My Jessie did this! It's beautiful!
