MR. SOPHISTICATED

Some apples are better picked up away from the tree. Lars Ulrich's Dad's beard really makes a statement. I used to own a large red sombrero. It was purchased for me by members of The Schwag family @the flea market in Salem Mo. I had it on the front seat of my car once when I was pulled over for no real reason by an Overland MO policeman. He was one of those super stiff types ....not much of a sense of humor. After running my license, he asked "what's that large hat on your seat?". I said "you mean this giant sombrero?", and he said "oh ....I didn't know that it was a sombrero". He then asked "is that something that you wear?", at which time I smiled at him and said in my most limp wristed voice "sometimes", at which point he became noticeably uncomfortable and sent me on my way.