CookiePuss

.."I would sure love to work with her, I've never seen a girl with so many problems." - Andy Warhol..
♥♥♥ "When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better then them." - Marilyn Monroe" ♥♥♥
♥ One word; Dundant.
♥ When I was three I graduated with flying colors from Nursery School. During a highly-acclaimed graduation performance of "We Are The World", three year old moi rolled up her dress slowly throughout the song, revealing pink ruffled panties by the time Cyndi Lauper's solo began. My father laughed his ass off, my mother wouldn't speak to me. Some things never change...
♥ I have (always had) some very big balls for a very little girl.
♥ I have permanent road rage.
♥ Some goals, both long term and short: To grace the virtual pages of PerezHilton.com in some form of tutu, to be able to digest food in an effective manner, to live within the confines of a rhinestone-picket fence.
♥ I am small enough to change cloths in my car, which I often do, for kicks.
♥ The only bush I trust is my own.
♥ I am the sole inventor of the highly-fabled and hugely-feared "Stink Eye".
♥ Another word: WHACK-A-MOLE.
♥ The smell of beer makes me nauseaus. I much prefer men who chug Vodka. Or Gin. Or both.
♥ I think that chocolate chips ruin completely good Vanilla Ice Cream.
♥ I think Tom Brady looks...well..."special" (the ShortBus and CrashHelmet variety).
♥ I know, in good confidence, that MapQuest is the definate work of the Devil.
♥ I ADORE Homemade Blueberry Muffins- the kind baked with an elderly flair bordering on Alzheimer's and a generous smattering of crystalized sugar.
♥ The word "NO" makes me smirk.
♥ Nothing bores me more than mediocrity: I take my tea burning hot, have a flair for wasabi, and am loyal to a fault. Problematic is the unalienable fact that, by definition, most things in life are mediocre. Subsequently, most things in life bore me.
♥ I'd rather walk through a fire than around it.
♥ I always need a pre-bedtime snack.
♥ I am what Lacey calls a "foil whore", and I love it.
♥ I am what Shar calls "trophy-wife material" and "a hot piece of ass", and I concur.
♥ The thought of buying eggs at Walmart makes me nervous, and roadkill makes me intensely depressed.
♥ I do a mean cathartic goat dance.
♥ I hate fluffy toilet paper, The Shawshank Redemption, and hoodies without pockets.
♥ I hate the redundancy I have exhibited in my last statement and question if my contempt for said redundancy lies within my "redundant" colon.
♥ Succinctly, I hate gratuitous self-indulgence disquised as "intellect".
♥ I believe in the power of Benefiber, love, and resilliance.
♥ I find the institution of TinFoil absolutely brilliant and the convention of the ZipLock absolutely necessary.
♥ I take personal issue with the displaying of plasitc Baby Jesuses and the subsequent "two reindeer rule" and thus often ponder expanding the religion created in my head...but I simply dont have the patience required to impart it to the masses.
♥ Someone put their cigaratte out repeatedly in my proverbial "glass" and it tends to cloud the house I throw my stones from.
♥ I am in need of a lui every half-an-hour yet do not support the flushing of public restroom latrines, thus passivley "marking my territory" throughout America.
♥ I am notorious for never putting the cap on the toothpaste.
♥ I am the speller from HELL despite my empirical reign as Bi-Coastal Scrabble Champion. I blame this on my parents, who divorced to avoid killing each other, and rendered me on a twisted path through 8 elementary schools before i was 12. Forcing me to always miss that oh-so-important grammar lesson.
I am a force to be reckoned with, buyer beware.
disclaimer:
please excuse the whoreanous lighting and equally as shiteous camera angles...ENJOY!
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