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Britney

I am here for Friends

About Me

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.Made with My Cool Signs.NetI got my layout at CleanupMyspace.com | Free Myspace LayoutsBaby Ticker

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Funny people who can make me laugh which isn't hard to do.Mauled By a Bear - watch more funny videos

My Blog

Heartbreak

God I hate heartbreak....I hate feeling so much that exhaustion starts setting in....I hate being too sad to form sentences without tears welling up.  For the first time in a long time I'm having to d...
Posted by on Sat, 26 Sep 2009 13:23:00 GMT

Updiz-ate

Well, I received good news this morning...the scan of my gall bladder was completely normal. No stones and I presume no inflammation that they could see anyway.  Doesn't help to explain the pain I've ...
Posted by on Mon, 29 Jun 2009 07:57:00 GMT

Baby Stuff :)

Well, I went to the doctor for my 25 week check up (otherwise known as my monthly check up I guess...lol) and told her about the extreme discomfort I've been having pretty much everyday in my upper ba...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:22:00 GMT

So I'm going to be a mommy :)

I'm so happy I get to write a blog about learning the exciting news that I was chosen to be a mother.  Honestly, I never thought it was in the cards for me to be one....nor did I think it was somethin...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Apr 2009 08:10:00 GMT

To those of you....

To those of you who wouldn't be with me unless I changed who I was to fit the mold of what you wanted I just want to say thank you for being so critical of me.  It made it easy to appreciate the one p...
Posted by on Tue, 14 Apr 2009 09:13:00 GMT

Wrenches in the plan

Just when I start planning for trips to far away places I've longed to go, I find out I'm pregnant.  I can be quoted as saying 'if unplanned events didn't happen to me nothing ever would'.  I never th...
Posted by on Tue, 07 Apr 2009 14:22:00 GMT

what the hell.

For some reason people have been really pissing me off lately while I'm driving.  It's one thing for someone who is sitting in my car to give me directions but today someone in another car, the one be...
Posted by on Mon, 16 Mar 2009 10:54:00 GMT

It's a bloody WANKER!

Penis isn't just for porno these days.  Or so I've learned....Some of you may know that I am a member of Blockbuster Online which allows me to rent movies via snail mail.  I've noticed a trend that I ...
Posted by on Sat, 07 Mar 2009 12:57:00 GMT

SHERWOOD & COURSEY INTERSECTION

I'm so pissed right now because apparently some of you people here in Baton Rouge think you are fucking special and still back up traffic trying to turn left at the intersection of Sherwood & Coursey ...
Posted by on Fri, 27 Feb 2009 07:07:00 GMT

Bi-Polar Opposites

There are some people in my life that I absolutely 99 out of 100% of the time can't match moods with.  When I'm happy, no doubt they are in a bad mood and vice versa.  I don't understand this phenomen...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Feb 2009 07:58:00 GMT