MoonStone <ednos> profile picture

MoonStone &lt;ednos&gt;

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

This is my “secret” MySpace. No one in my personal life has been told that I created this one. I have another one that everyone else knows about. The ONLY reason that this one is being kept to myself is because even tho normally I am an open book.....especially to my girl.....this is too personal and too painful to have my loved ones see me go thru. She knows about my demons. She’s pretty much just like me. I love that she is because she understands what’s going on inside my head so much more than anyone I’ve ever known. I hate it because when I see & hear her be cruel to herself.....FUCK if it doesn’t tear me up.

Should she ever find this....please just understand that I needed this personal struggle to be private & I didn’t want you to feel this pain by seeing me go thru it. I am ashamed of what I am.

I HATE THAT THIS IS MY ONE SECRET FROM YOU.

This is my secret MySpace. I need inspiration. I need to achieve my goal no matter what. I was sooooo damn close! I HATE myself for letting myself get back to where I SWORE I would never be!

I believe in Control, the only force mighty enough to bring order to the chaos that is my world.

I believe that I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever to have existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention.

I believe that other people who tell me differently must be idiots. If they could see how I really am, then they would hate me almost as much as I do.

I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behaviour.

I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.

I believe in salvation through trying just a bit harder than I did yesterday.

I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of god, and memorize them accordingly.

I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and failures.

I believe in hell, because I sometimes think that I'm living in it.

I believe in a wholly black and white world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the abnegation of the body and a life ever fasting.

..................FITDAY.COM..................

…..Minimalist Temple (A Pro EDnos Site)…..

…..Body Slave (Pro EDNOS)…..

…..Pro-Thinspo LiveJournal…..

..................Ana’s Underground Grotto..................

..................Fading Obsession..................

..................Pro Ana Mia..................

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

*** I WILL NOT LOOK LIKE THIS *** I WILL NOT DAMMIT ***


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My Blog

Down....

I'm down today. Real down. Too much is running thru my fucking mind. I haven't gotten the results from everyone for this week's weigh-in, but I did not loose anything this week. ANYTHING. I am the exa...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:40:00 GMT

The stupidest and most bizzare bitch-fest I've been in, in a while......

So I need to fucking vent about the shit that went down yesterday....not the end of the world...just pissed.... I was on the way to the grocery store last night when I got a text from a friend of mine...
Posted by on Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:33:00 GMT

So far so good........kindof.......

I mean....are things ever really "good"? Not bad overall on some fronts. I'm doing real good so far with staying on track with my ednos. I purged once last week and that's it. I have GOT to stop with ...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Jul 2009 10:27:00 GMT

The Four D's......

-  DISTANCE yourself from food-  DISTRACT yourself-  DEALY eating-  DECIDE what your goals really are
Posted by on Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:41:00 GMT

Everything is falling apart all around me...

Fucking hell. My cat is going down fast. Friday she lost her balance and her legs just gave out from underneath her. Twice. Hasn't happened since, but she's hardly eating anymore. She's sleeping almos...
Posted by on Thu, 28 May 2009 07:28:00 GMT

It's been too damn long.....

....since I've been on here. It's also been too damn long since I was focused enough and strong enough. I have been such a piece of shit in the last 2 months. Went from hitting the gym to days a week ...
Posted by on Tue, 19 May 2009 08:37:00 GMT

I thought this was fucking Florida?!

Jesus fucking christ, it's cold! I know I'm in FL, so I really can't bitch a hell of a lot.........but I'm gonna anyhow! It's COLD! My boss is too cheap to turn the heat on, so....it's COLD! Fuck!Well...
Posted by on Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:41:00 GMT

So far so good...............

So far, so good. Almost done with January and We've been hitting the gym 3-5 times a week. I've been still doing the eliptical on the off days with just a lapse last week while I had company from outt...
Posted by on Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:24:00 GMT

Update since last month&&.

Holy shit I have been too busy to write! I am still to fucking busy to write, but theres so much thats been going on.For xmas my mom got us signed up at a gym and paid 1st month, last month, & key p...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Jan 2009 11:46:00 GMT

It’s been too long since I’ve written......

I've been so horribly busy for the last month of days! I feel like when I am able to stop for a second I'm gonna collapse.We had major layoffs at my job due to the fucking economy and now I am doing t...
Posted by on Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:16:00 GMT