Clare Bare profile picture

Clare Bare

I am not hip to your jive.

About Me


I do not have a computer so I rarely go on myspace. Shit times is hard, Steinbrenner wants his money. anyways... I press the snooze button until the last possible minute. I suck at parking and I don't care. I call my parents Momma and Poppa Bear and I think thats clever. I work as a special ed aide at my old high school, I get paid shit but I love it. I spend a lot of time conditioning my hair. I read lots of books because I'm too cheap to pay cablevision. Sometimes I make blanket statements like; "Wow, that Starbucks is really expensive" or "I LOVE FOOD!" when I don't know what else to stay. I fulfill those Irish sterotypes about loving potatos, drinking too much and living in Woodlawn. I am formerly of Connecticut, emphasis on formerly, but I still work there.

My Interests

Going to Yankee games (81 game season ticket holder bitches), Books (specially by Irish people), Dancing (but not videos of said dancing), "the sauce", parenthesis, Woodlawn, The chip truck (which magically appears only when I'm drunk), Sweet parking spots, Piting Fools, NetFlix, My kids (not biological, the ones from work), properly melted Dipping Dots, The Library, making curry, freckles, conditioning my hair, idiom and phrase origins, smelling good, napping These Artists: Niagara, Aya Kato, Jeff Soto, Ryan McGinness, Sylvia Ji (The artist who did my background photo), Chris Lundy, Paul Klee, Gustav Klimt, Katsushika Hokusai, Alphonse Mucha, Sam Flores, Faile, Banksy, Audrey Kawasaki

I'd like to meet:

Someone who can make me laugh which is pretty flipping easy. Someone who will go to the Zoo or someone to go to art galleries with. People who think Im Hilllaaaarrrrriouuus. Devastatingly attractive people. People who want to coddle my ego. People who "know" people. Girls my same shoe size, weight and height who have lots of nice clothes... and its all probably best if they live in the Bronx, I don't like leaving. And this foxy man:

Music:

The Reverend Al Green, Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye, Rap... Young Buck, Fiddy Cent, Jay-Z, Seana Paul, The Mars Volta, Queens of the Stone Age, Damien Marley, The Doors, The Stones, Guns and Roses, Amy Winehouse cause after a few drink I turn into her...

Movies:

Super Troopers, Apocalypse Now, Spirited Away, Snatch, Sean of the Dead, Anchorman.

Television:

I have 2 tvs but I wont be Cablevisions bitch.. so when I go to places where they pay their bills...The Soup (soooo.. underrated), the Office (both versions) Baseball tonight, Lifetime movies, The Golden Girls (act like chu dont know), The Price is Right (bitches).

Books:

Anything by Ellen Gilchrist (The Anna Papers or anything about Rhoda) or Roddy Doyle (Especially A Star Called Henry), A Collection of Beauties at the Height of their Popularity (thanks Cathy!), The Nature of Water and Air, or anything else by Regina McBride, Memoirs of a Geisha (the movie blows tho), The Odyssey,

Heroes:

Tanya Turner, Wonder Woman, She-ra, Cheetara, April O'Neill (anyone who looks that good in a yellow jump suit should be everyone's hero). and Ashley because she can charm the bronze statuette off anyone!

My Blog

Underwear Gate Part Deux/Abraham Lincoln in a bikini

Ok so back to Wilson's underwear saga. The day after Wilson told the head librarian to, and I quote "Blow it out your asshole" we made another attempt at the media center. Wilson pulls out the same pa...
Posted by Clare Bare on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 12:49:00 PST

Underwear gate 2007

Ok well the past few days have been, in my mind, underwear gate 2007. Wilson does not wear underwear. Wilson wears baggy sweatpants. Wilson pants fall down and he shows crack all day long. That is jus...
Posted by Clare Bare on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 07:04:00 PST

I accidentally ate part of my mouth

Ok so I was having this delicious apple today, and I guess I got a little over zealous because I also bit off a chunk of my lip. It was bleedig really badly, I had to put a tissue on it it make it sto...
Posted by Clare Bare on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 07:00:00 PST

Sissy Fruitcup

So today was decent. I decided to let Wilson take a nap for awhile in the morning because he had 2 free blocks today and thanks to that he was noticibly less cranky. After the nap I was called a: siss...
Posted by Clare Bare on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 06:26:00 PST

see you in jail.

Ahh what a day. I couldn't sleep last night, well not till like three so waking up at 530 was flipping awesome!! Technically I didnt really wake up until 615, so I had no time for breakfast and I had ...
Posted by Clare Bare on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 06:16:00 PST

Why sleep?

So its 3 am and I have work in 4 hours. AWESOME. Well its friday and its payday. Not having a phone really sucks ass. I never really thought I was that dependant on my mobile(sounds so classy to say i...
Posted by Clare Bare on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 12:08:00 PST

Professer Fun or Turkey Tits?

Today at work I was called; a dickhead (3 times), Fucker, loser face, turkey tits, shit for brains (twice), Professer Fun and Toots (when I asked him to repeat him self he smiled and said..."oh no I m...
Posted by Clare Bare on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:57:00 PST

I have nothing special to say

Soooooo... Im having fun deleting pictures of myself and putting up cooler ones. Computers are neato. 'Specially Macs. So my boss decided Im better with Wilson so I will be spending most of my time wi...
Posted by Clare Bare on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 05:47:00 PST

Shit Wilson says

Ok so Wilson is one of the kids I work with. The shit that comes out of him mouth is pure comic genius and deserves to be posted.he refers to people as "skin tubes"He told me today he'd "fix my wagon"...
Posted by Clare Bare on Fri, 08 Sep 2006 05:05:00 PST