lawrence profile picture

lawrence

no fat chicks

About Me

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotom... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Browse hundreds of My Space Layouts .

My Interests

Sports(mostly hockey and baseball), rocking the fuck out, i play in a band at a church(looking for to start or join a death metal band), camping, hunting, horses, hangin out with friends

I'd like to meet:

vampire, wolfman, bigfoot, ninja, dinosaur, frankenstein, a funny drunk, a super smart monkey, the president. no trannies.

Music:

3 Inches of Blood, In Flames, Amon Amarth, Lamb of God, Black Dahlia Murder, Cannibal Corpse, Mastadon, Trivium, Gwar, Through The Eyes of the Dead, High On Fire, As I Lay Dying, Children of Bodom, God Forbid, Opeth, Every Time I Die, Chimaira, Devildriver, Pantera, Slayer, Megadeth, Metallica, Anthrax, Sepultura, Black Label Society, Clutch, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, The Doors, Cream, Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stones, Sum 41, Rise Against, Sublime, Velvet Revolver, Halifax, Weezer, The Mars Volta, Franz Ferdinand, Jet, The Darkness, The Killers, Tenacious D, Social Distortion, The Ramones, Johnny Cash, David Allen Coe, Hank Williams III, Chris LeDeaux, Garth Brooks, Brad Paisley, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Guns n' Roses, Skid Row, Motley Crue, Van Halen, Poison, Whitesnake

Movies:

Fight Club, House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn of the Dead, Shawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, BlazingSaddles, Spinal Tap, Detroit Rock City, Almost Famous, Rockstar, Dodgeball, Harold & Kumar, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Pick of Destiny, The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby, Anchorman, Old School, Elf, Saving Silverman

Television:

al jazeera