..
write something nice here:
Welcome To My Humble Abode
My name is Catlow.
I have very little to say and a lot of time to say it in.
Capisce?
Hello. I have a double barrelled name and I can't spell barrelled.
I want to be I am a cowboy.
I tend to fall over an awful lot.
I run like the phantom of the opera apparantly.
I will do most things if you dare pay me.
I talk/sing/laugh in my sleep.
Joanna Newsom makes me happy and sad at the same time.
I am an embarressment. I have trouble spelling this word. It never works on predictive text.
Much like the word 'apparently' which always comes up as 'asparagus'
It always amuses me that 'anal' comes up when you try to write 'cock' on predictive text.
Also.. the word kiss comes up when you try to write lips.
anyway...
in a word, I am a proper twat. That's two words. See what I mean.
I don't have a car
I ride a bike
like a silly little boy
The theme tune to Birds of A Feather makes me cry sometimes
If you see me in public, I will probably be doing one or all of the following: break dancing (this often include all aspects of the dance; moonwalking etc), balancing a bottle/glass/something sharp on my head, carrying people on my back, eating a kebab, spilling/dropping/smashing my drink, falling off something high up, throwing myself at a stranger.
I lie down on the ground when I am drunk. This is not at all becoming of a young lady such as myself.
I don't know my left and right.
I am always tired. I therefore live on red bull and pro plus.
I can not spell therefore. Or can I? I am not entirely sure. I am not entirely sure if that is how you spell entirely.
I neither love nor hate cooking. I just can't.
I like tea but I give up making it before the kettle's even boiled. Making tea is rubbish.
I have the same problem with toast. Though I don't really see the point in toast anyway.
I leave things in the fridge that don't belong in the fridge.
I left my aviators in the fridge the other day.
I'd like an apartment in London, Manchester, Paris, LA and New York.
please.
I'm actually quite nice. To everyone. This is a bit gay, but I am.
I've realised, I'm actually fairly hopeless.
..but very calming in a crisis.
mainly because I go round saying things like "look... just..." and "it'll be fine.." and "listen right.." and people generally believe me.
Sometimes I am so laid back it worries people.
doesn't worry me..
too laid back you see..
it's not that I don't care.. I'm just not easily bothered by things that might cause people bother.. so to speak..
I find that most of what I say is a load of rubbish.
because I am a bit rubbish
not really doing myself any favours here am I?
making myself sound a bit shit.
I don't like that word 'crap'.. it's like a shit version of the word shit.
I'm not superstisious. I can't spell this. But I'm not. ie; shoes on table, umbrella in doors.
I do however spit three times and salute if I see one magpie.
And I'm well into star signs an stuff. They're nearly always right.. about people, relationships etc.
I was one of those weird kids who had an imaginary friend.
I used to tell everyone I had this ghost called Sam who played baseball.
I used to pretend I was in a film/tv show/music video 99% of the time.
..I still do
I hate it when people use the word gay to describe things.
I'm actually not that arsed if I'm honest.. it's mainly sarah powell who brought me round to that way of thinking.
I contradict myself a lot.
I can't spell contradict either..or can I?
I buy the big issue.
partly to help the homeless.
partly so I wont get asked again.
I'm in a band.
I play the guitar.
I write stuff. Songs and sketches and plays and stuff. I am currently in the middle of a stupid film I've been writing for years and years. It's not very good.
I drink too much.
I work at Next. Please don't be horrible to people who work in shops.
I have always wanted to be famous. Always wanted to either be in a band, be an actor or some kind of writer/director. If I'm still working at Next in ten years time I will eat my own face.
I have to do everything in odd numbers. The tv volume etc. If you ask me why, I will end up going into this long detailed explanation about triangles and things. And you'll just think I'm weird and stop talking to me. It's your call.
I LOVE
peanut butter.. weighing in at around 5000 calories per tea spoon.
branston pickle
my ACE girlfriend
Spider Man
and the rest of the spider family
the people pictured on the left
Love Shack by The B52's.
If you hear this song played in a public venue of any kind, I have probably requested it.
Foxes Party Rings.
Ribena.
Bacardi and Lemonade.
That advert about bills and there's all those guys called Bill in it.. I love that.. haha
talking to myself
Blackpool
converse.. the best things ever
kfc to cure a hangover
disney films/musicals/various other sad things
Cilit Bang Cilit Bang Cilit Bang.
Juliette Lewis
my i-pod
my mum
dancing to every band I ever see... however good or bad
Brit Pop
popeyes kebabs
Marilyn Monroe
aviators
quentin tarantino
my cat
singing (badly) all the time
this sounds so chavvy and common... but being completely out of it and having no control over what I'm doing... just makes a nice change sometimes dont ya think?
playing the piano very badly
bob dylan
my band
Jennifer Saunders
Bacon Fries
Lost
the tache even though your feet stick to the floor
dressing up
bbc 3
'Ellen's version of Shoop by Salt n Pepa.
and just Ellen in general.. she's ace.
being stupid in public purely to attract attention to myself because I am a nob
getting completely squashed and thrown about at gigs. Why?
Branston Pickle flavoured mini cheddars.
Kit Kats with peanut butter.. amazing
Being single
Not being single anymore :)
I FRIGGING LOVE THIS BAND.
Little Man Tate. They are MY band. You saw them here first. I shall carry this with me til the day I die.
I HATE
chav school children
fizzy water
cat hair on my bed
private jokes that don't involve me
stupid choir in ASDA adverts
gregs pies
carrying the hoover up and down stairs.
walking next to a bike when you have to get off and push it along. Do yer know what I mean? When the pedals bang on your legs?
songs that are far too deep for their own good
men who think girls can't play guitar (Noel Gallagher made this assumption once but he is forgiven as he is friggin cool.. and I shall meet him one day and speak to him about this)
scampi fries
racism
when asking 'have I got something in my eye?'.. people who say 'an eye ball'
similarly, when you ask 'what time is it?' people who say 'time you got a watch'.. fuck off!
fancying people that don't fancy me
any insects
"And this is my boyfriend.."
"Well as long as you're not hurting anyone, it's alright by me"
Thanks.
being with people for too long
new years eve
don't ask why
Without wanting to sound like a ranting lezza.. people who say fit gay people are 'a waste'.. amuses me though like..
imagining stuff that's not there when it's dark... aliens/ghosts/bad men/or similar
baileys *gags*
pork scratchings
chav music
people with larger tits than me
this would be 99.9% of the female population
and over 80% of the male population
not being good enough at stuff I want to be really good at
my student loan. I don't like it. I don't understand it. This includes all aspects of finance, organisation and responsibility of any kind
the fact that I'm ever so slightly spineless
and I don't really know what I'm doing or where I'm going
I am however enjoying myself so I'm not that bothered
proper happy like
s'all good mate
I Thought I Hated But I Actually Quite Like...
The OC
Holly Oaks
Lella: Hollyoaks is one word you spaz
Me: *pause* yeah I know
Hollyoaks
Earl Grey Tea
Toast
Celene Dion
Whitney Houston
Take That
Peas
Just Shoot Me (channel 4)
Nigel Brown
Lesbians
Good Charlotte
The Earth Song by Michael Jackson
Geese
