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About Me

I'm one of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind...never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Who would I like to meet? Well...the outcast, misfits, rejects, losers, perverts, lunatics, gangsters, pranksters, outlaws, neurotics, psychotics, mainiacs, brainiacs, hippies, yippies, yuppies, junkies, flunkies, and monkeys. Folks like me. DISCLAIMER: don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; subject to change without notice; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity joke employer; read at your own risk; may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory: explicit lyrics; no money down; no purchase necessary; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment; contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult someone who cares; must be 18 to enter; one size fits all; allow four to six weeks for delivery; objects in the mirror may be funnier than they appear; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, unauthorized repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure, accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

My Blog

Who's that man with the beard and hat?

Two weeks ago I took a neighbor's garden gnome.  I kept it in my car and took pictures of it in different locations around town. Today I'm going to return the gnome and put the printed photos on the...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Nov 2009 05:54:00 GMT

This is a first......

I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Posted by on Sun, 02 Aug 2009 21:48:00 GMT

Moments of transition

There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Gre...
Posted by on Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:15:00 GMT

This be the verse

They fuck you up, your mom and dad.  They may not mean to, but they do.They fill you with the faults they had  And add some extra, just for you.But they were fucked up in their turn  By...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:59:00 GMT

I Say

I need violent dyingI need quiet timesIf you don't believe me as I slide in the seaIt doesn't matter much to me I lie down and I float nowhereI know whybecause I liejust hearing my mouth openI feel th...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Nov 2008 07:22:00 GMT