Thee-Ram-Jam

Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo, Humanoids!!! Please pardon my non expressions from tha yesterdays but I just learned to communicate using this here finger punch board you humans call a computer. My name is Thee-Ram-Jam. I am honored to meet yo AZZ! The first thang I needs to do is set the story straight ‘bout me. The Tabloids be perpetratin’ and gotts some stuff wrong ‘bout me and my past. So here’s the truef and nuttin’ but tha truef! Tha planet I comes from is called “Rama-Jam” Me and my peeps are called “Rama-Jamians”. Rama-Jamians are mellow, funk luvin’ freakatures that live off nuttin’ but music. Me and many of my peeps walk around like zombies 'til we hear some Funky music. Then we immediately forget what we wuz doin' and break into AZZ shakin’ frenzies! I don’t really remember how we gotts to be this ways, but many blame me. I have heard that when I wuz a youngling the Elders were amazed at how I could “FTB” “Funk Tha Bass” and still be so “wet behind tha ears”. When the masses came to check out tha vibe, they were struck from above by (Lightning Funk Bolts) which caused this Zombie/Azz shakin’ phenomenon we call “JAMNISEA”! My parents were real proud of my ability to Funk. My Pops real name is (I.B.JAM) and my Mommas’ real name is (I.B.BUTTER). I don’t know much else about myself ‘cause I gotts the worse case of “JAMNISEA”. All I know is that I likes to Jam and Jam and then Jam some Mo’ and that this super energy called "LIFE" still has a few thangs to teach me. I came to this here “Big Blue Ball of Water” you all calls earth ‘cause they say that aside from Rama-Jam this “Big Blue Ball of Water” is tha funkiest place in the Universe! The Elders taught me that: “THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP WHAT YOU HAVE IS TO GIVE IT AWAY” So “I GOTTS TO GIVE UP THA FUNK!!!!!!” Stay tuned “MORE WILL BE REVEALED”