Kitten Felcher profile picture

Kitten Felcher

About Me

This was our original bio: We were farted out of a computer's ass. But now we feel that this wasn't enough, so here's our new one: Gay Ray was living in a dilapidated squat down at the bazaar. He was a gay fag who was on probation for grand theft auto and various acts of destruction. So, yes, he was also a felonious lowlife. One day, he was at a burger joint arguing with his bitch girlfriend William, and finally told William to get fucked. "Goddammit," he thought, "now if only I could find some piece of shit to start a crappy fucking band with." He said this aloud (but didn't know it because he was high as a kite). A retarded idiot who lived in a roach-infested, trash-filled apartment nearby overheard this. That retarded idiot was Kyle Shit Pyle, who was a real turd. They immediately became partners in filth, and set out to make the dumbest excuse for music in the world; something so devoid of any talent or musical merit that they only call their "band" a band when they can put quotation marks around the word "band". One day, Gay Ray had the ingenious idea of fucking a stray kitten in the ass and sucking the cum out with a bendee straw. He became so good at this, he doesn't even need a straw anymore. And, because of this, their "band" is called KITTEN FELCHER. Wasn't that a nice story? NOW LISTEN TO THE SOUNDTRACK NOW OR WE'LL CUT YOU!

Myspace Layouts / Gay Pride / Hot Comments / Image Hosting

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 05/05/2008
Band Website: this one rite hear
Band Members: Kyle Shit Pyle - Keyboards, Vox, Vocals, Ass magnet, Prime Deaf Eye Caterer (/a) Gay Ray- Drum masheen, vocals, now downloading, porn taster, tampon sniffer (/a) Hÿmen-Rekker - two year old, Key Stixs (Key bord played w/ drum stiks) diaper filler, polyigimyst. (/a)
Influences: Anal Cunt, Excrementory Grindfuckers, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, GG Allin, Gwar, Crotchduster, The Left Rights, Gay For Johnny Depp, Meat Shits, John Waters, what we find in public restrooms...
Sounds Like: Awful grindcore, shitty punk, and stupid mediacore so lazy that we forgot the guitars, mixed with ugly tape hiss and shitty static mixed with an infant beating on shit with drum stics. And a bunch uv sampls, so weer so kool.
Record Label: Pha-Q Phono
Type of Label: Indie

My Blog

We're on another free compilation, and this time WE are releasing it!

Our compilation, "PHA-Q AND YOUR FRIENDS", is now available for free download! Featuring: Kitten Felcher, The Dryhumps, Hitlerbuttsecks, Anal Castration, 50 Ways To Kill Me, Cinematery, I Killed Techn...
Posted by on Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:46:00 GMT

We've been featured on Fuckin' Obskuyr Industries' GRIND SCENE compilation!

We're on this compilation. Go download this motherfucker for free. CAUTION: For 18 and up only, and DEFINITELY NOT for whiny-ass emos. Features Obskuyr, Clit Mutilation, Triosis, Kitten Felcher (THAT'...
Posted by on Mon, 18 May 2009 22:36:00 GMT

A thanks to all our nasty new pals on MySpace (and our old ones, too, why not?)

We would thank you all individually, but we're too busy eating each other's balls and listening to ABBA.
Posted by on Mon, 04 May 2009 14:59:00 GMT

We have a new piece of shitty doo doo, I mean, a new song

It's called "Emos Get Raped And Killed", and we hope your mom likes it, bitch hog.
Posted by on Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:04:00 GMT

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART

If you take the "f" off of "fart", you get "art". So we figure that every track of ours is a work of art with a little extra zing. Like a fancy shart, probably garnished with cum.
Posted by on Thu, 30 Apr 2009 03:45:00 GMT

Who likes tied up, gagged nerd girls who shit in their panties while he masturbates in drag?

The answer: Kyle Shit Pyle.
Posted by on Sat, 18 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Who likes little Filipino boys?

The answer: Gay Ray.
Posted by on Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:53:00 GMT

WE ARE...

...the guilty stench that follows you across the room....the rectal prolapse that destroys your ass from the inside out....the dark turd that simply won't flush while it suggests by its black, evil di...
Posted by on Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:53:00 GMT

COLONIC IRRIGATION

...
Posted by on Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:50:00 GMT

WE HUMP PILLOWS

We hump pillows while listening to the "Deliverance" soundtrack. Man, we're so pathetic. We hope we don't shit in our pants tonight. At the very least, we have one thing, though. It's not creativity, ...
Posted by on Tue, 24 Mar 2009 23:35:00 GMT