What's up? We're Atom Assassin. If you don't know us, and I'm sure most of you guys don't, we need to tell you guys a little bit about ourselves as a band, and as members. We play crusty crossover party thrash, we're not this trendy retro bullshit who rips off the same riffs as all the other big new thrash bands do, we hate metalcore, we're a DIY band. As in we record our own stuff and I (Eddie) promote and manage this big piece of shit. We fucking party, and we're a two piece band for now. We just need a bass player. That's the band wrap up. Now here's what me and Josh are all about as members.
We're self pro-claimed gods. Bow down before us, or we'll get a fist full of your anus. We shit on everything. We drink beer like there's nothing else to drink. Which there isn't. We both love thrash and ska music. Josh wrecked the Titanic into a huge ice burg that was shaped like tits. It was completely intended, and whatever you've heard in history about the Titanic is a lie. I gave birth to Oprah through my peehole in the year of 1756, and it still stings from pushing her out. We're immortal to death by listening to shitty emo music. We live through it because we know it won't exist eventually because it's today's trendy generation of hair metal. That and the emo kids will eventually do us a favor and kill themselves so they won't make anymore crappy music. We make fun of people who are full of copious amounts of dipshittery. Oh, and most of our ex-girlfriends have either became sluts, or are simply cool as fuck. But since we're gods, we just pee on them and make them floss their teeth with a big bag of dicks. That's for the slutty ones though only. Oh yeah and one last thing; it's important to know that smacking someone in the face with your tally whacker is fun.
Later!
