I'm the only person I know who can drink and snap my fingers at the same time. I'm also a firm believer that Christ was in fact not a jew but a mexican because I have never met a jew named "Hey-Soos". I'm currently in the works of making an entire movie about a guy who's a fugitive hiding from the law all because he didn't show up for jury duty. He'll have to constantly be changing his residence and always looking over his shoulder wherever he goes. It should be very suspenseful. The end of the movie will be a shootout. Suicide by cop. The main characters best friend in the movie will be Straight-Edge Phobic. In one scene he'll inadvertently draw an imaginary x on his table with his finger and when realizing what he's just done he'll scream,"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!" and than wipe the imaginary x away and chug a beer as fast as he can just to prove to himself that he's not Straight-Edge. That will be the tearjerker part of the movie. The movie will have nothing but good reviews in all the previews because all the reviews will be by me. My life's goal is to move to Boston, develop an accent, and than become an art teacher just so I can call all my students "autistic". I'm also quite the inventor. Right now I'm in the process of getting my latest invention copywrited. It's a portable record player. It will be the same size as a normal record player, only this one hooks right onto your hip. I predict that in a years time, you won't be able to leave your house without seeing a jogger go by with one of these babies on their hips. One part of my past that I'm not too proud of was my brief stint in the porn industry. I was the star and director of the "Masturbation in Public Places" video and was working on a sequal until I was arrested in an old folks home. I always wondered if you cloned yourself and then fucked your clone would that be gay or just another form of masturbation. Here's a joke you should never tell at a bridge club. "A guys on trial for rape. His defense is that he's deaf so he couldn't here her scream "NO." After I get my movie released I also have a lifetime movie that I've been working on. It's about two twins in highschool. One is straight and one is gay. But the straight twin is always getting gay bashed for mistaken identity.
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