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About Me

Welcome to The Diner, a friendly place for friendly people who love meat loaf, fried chicken, meat loaf on a stick and also meat loaf. Additionally, our menu features a fine, if limited, selection of vegetables – we hope you love turnips as much as we do! Please seat yourself, and a server will be with you in 20 or 30 minutes. Wendy, your waitress, is sexy, witty and smart, with a variety of super powers and a love of Irish coffee. William, your waiter, is a lecherous, wisecracking perv with a penchant for off-color puns. Juanita the Cook is an ex-carny and wrestling school graduate; she also sports a mysterious eye patch (for reasons no one can fathom) and has no qualms about putting you in a half-nelson if you send your food back. Mark is our studly, if not terribly bright, maintenance man; he carries a gun, but he only shoots rats with it, and, all in all, he'd rather be watching "All My Children." Candi the Diner Singer – well, we don’t know who she is, no one actually hired her, but she shows up every day anyway, sits on a piano stool and sings along to whatever’s on the radio – often while wearing headphones. Candi also disposes of the occasional corpse when necessary. And, finally, we urge you to AVOID Owen the Owner, who thinks he’s a soul brotha who's smooth with the ladies. If Owen tries to speak to you, it’s probably best to pretend no one is there. Thank you, enjoy your meal and please come again! (Shut up, William. We don’t mean it like THAT.){} ..
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Friendly, patient, tolerant customers who tip their servers generously, love a good meat loaf (our secret ingredient: mayonnaise!), enjoy soulful karaoke (you won't find it anywhere but here!) and don't mind tipsy waitresses and aggressive lady midget wrestlers (such as Owen's mama) who try to jump on your chest and lick your face.

My Blog

HALLOWEEN CONTEST!!!!!!!!!

Okay Diner friends...it's time for a contest!! In honor of All Hallow's Eve of course... There are 9 items in 9 locations around The Diner (picture of layout is in Pic section) and if YOU can mat...
Posted by on Tue, 21 Oct 2008 08:36:00 GMT

DINER MENU....SEE PICS SECTION FOR VISUAL MENU!

DINER MENU(subject to change at whim) BREAKFASTTwo eggs & Ham                            &n...
Posted by on Sat, 03 May 2008 10:11:00 GMT

THE DINER VIDEO CONTEST: WE OUGHTTA BE IN PICTURES!

It's what every Diner customer has been dreaming of for, like, several days now! It's the first-ever Diner Video Contest, and the winner gets ... wait for it ......wait for it........the number 8 spot...
Posted by on Thu, 22 May 2008 09:23:00 GMT

THE "HEALTH INSPECTOR" POPS IN TO SAY HOWDY

Herro, herro! It is just me, da helf inspector, ya ya. ha-ha. I just pop in to say howdy! ha-ha. Oooohh, dis place look so good, veddy cleeeean, ya! Oh, look at dat spot on da ceiling, something iz dr...
Posted by on Fri, 02 May 2008 09:08:00 GMT

MEMO FROM OWEN: HEALTH INSPECTOR’S VISIT

To: Diner StaffFrom: Owen Your Beloved BossRe: Visit from health inspector plus a gosh-darn funny jokeGood morning! I would like to start off today's memo with a funny joke to put you all in a jim-dan...
Posted by on Thu, 01 May 2008 22:00:00 GMT