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1.) If you kick me down and try to break my spirit. I will tell jokes about you on stage and you wont even know you’re being made fun of.
2.) If you tell me life will give me lemons, and I should make lemonade, I will tell you I have diabetes and lemonade is on my do not drink list.
3.) Jews and Muslims should get along.
4.) We should find a renewable source of energy, fast.
5.) I don’t like taxes, but demand universal health care, and I’m not willing to compromise on either demand.
6.) Straight or Gay, I believe in 20 years you’re going to hate the person you are with anyways. Who cares if you get married.
7.) I believe all people have an equal right to laugh.
8.) I tell jokes not to satisfy my personal needs, but to challenge myself. I am here to satisfy the audience, not myself.
9.) I was born in Pakistan.
10.) Life is long, life is hard, do what makes you happy.
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