LJ

To write about myself well is a difficult thing to do. I don't know to much of who I am I know my likes well sorta I know my dislikes sorta again. Pretty much for the last 18 years of my life I have lied to myself I don't remember the last time I was true to myself and open with people besides when things were normal when I hung out with the guys played football played tag just were kids but some where in all of that I lost myself I became an angry person an out sider. And maybe sometimes I wanted to go back but I couldn't because I allready had a name plate on me of what type of kid I was so I stayed that way I stayed lost. Till this day I don't understand why I couldn't stop or why someone couldn't see that I wasn't that kid but no one did I got worse with life. I have grown up with very few friends and I don't know if there that I have some that are by me only when I'm trouble that just loving being around the reckless kid of me. And some that just don't know whom I am but I think are willing to get me but than I worry they will be lost with me thinking they knew me then being like whoa and feeling blind. I don't have much of a family plenty of it but I don't know many of them the family I did know and were closed to died or left and became someone new. This computer is basically my world this is my social life the thing that gets me up every day the thing I can be true to because you cant see or feel the hate in them on here yeah sure you can read it but the only people that listen that see who I am who I can be. They say people lie on here yeah sure I believe that I have done it but at the same time I was lieing to myself. I was one lost kid but slowly I have grown to realize I'm the only one whom can fix me who can help me yeah sure there is guides but really I have to fine my path I wish it was as easy to follow the yellow brick road and there I'll find my answers. But I guess that's life longer I just keep being the freak the weird kid the more questions I'll have more lost my mind will be from peace. So I guess about me I'm on a quest to find myself and to really open my eyes with all my other feelings and let go of the fear and hate. That's who I am anohther soul ready looking searching for who I am and where I belong. You might think this is a weird about me but some things are better yet to be kept weird to give life more of a mystery and to really use your mind. I have learned its the most important tool in your soul it tells you when to look when to seek when to feel when to care it just makes you who you are even though sometimes it might be a little less guided but its only cause you didn't look at all the options. But its there with us our whole life you just have to be willing to trust it.the end so far hopefully I'll have a real ending not ending with a begining. Guns Go Bang myspace layout