Michael pees at the watercooler.

My brother and sister mean the world to me.
my name is Michael: i am a scorpio as well as a self-employed go-getter. i know what you're thinking and yes, i do realize how awesome i am. its a gift as well as a curse. i am seventy-five inches tall and i will, i will rock you. i pour my tears into my writing, maybe i'll let you read some sometime. music fuels my blood, so when my ipod dies so goes me. i have an appetite for disaster, scraping at my plate. you probably have more friends than me and i do lose sleep because of it. i find that my personality is of an elite class and will probably make you cry. my attitude is a fucking WMD and will make you piss your pants. is Michael bi? a bear's gotta eat so when the bear is hungry, he eats. when i die, i'm going to leave the world wanting more. when i do go, my only request is i be sent to the taxodermy and stuffed into the position that can best sum up my life's achievements: suplexing a cougar. i love to drive aimlessly while blasting my stereo so that i get lost and try to make it home. i am me for me and i do what i like cause i like what i do. i hate people who cry about their lives and don't do shit to change it. nothing can be achieved in self-pity. i love meeting people, mainly ladies. guys cannot carry on a conversation and girls always have something to say. i'll talk to most anyone, but if i flirt with you for real, feel special. girls love me because i'm nice before and after i get in their pants. I'll make your girl red in the face and you blue in the pants. So watch out, your girlfriend may not be in the bathroom fixing her makeup. and if you wanna know, yes my dick is much larger than your's and has seen more pussies than a fat-camp instructor.
i am done trying to be who you want me to be. what you see is what you get and will regret. i am happy with who i am even as i am changing. when i say you will never meet someone as amazing as i am, take it to heart because i will leave a void when i am gone. i will be remembered when i leave you tonight, when i leave you for good and when i leave this world forever. i appear strong to the eye, but believe me i am just as vulnerable as you. i am human and have issues, inabilities and fears but i admit them. i will not shelter my emotions and i will call you out when you bullshit. if you take one thing from all this writing, forget it. do not kid yourself, you know nothing about me.
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