Back door HEROE - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Short bio, my name is Davis. I fought in Nam. I still have flashbacks of little Vietnamese people jumping out of trees. A native northern Virginian. I was a break dancing nerd in high school. Then left for the Air Force for four years. All i did was work long hours and drink even longer hours. Some may say I'm an alcoholic but i tell them they're just joking. Dude I'm fucking nuts. Now I'm a bum and collect welfare and government cheese. If you go to d.c you might have seen me washing peoples cars or cleaning windshields making a quick buck or sleeping under a bridge. Occasionally my friends and I go drinking. Yeah thats a lie. Now for the serious stuff. Jujubee's is the best candy in the world. I like to cross dress on Tuesdays to get my flame on and take strolls in third world countries. I love girls with peg legs and eye patches. "Argh arh walk the plank mate. I don't go to parties i bring the party. Thats right. I do. What is it with people, if you don't party hard why party at all. Walking up and down stationary escalators freak me out. I also don't know why I'm back in VA. I love taking random road trips, and oh yeah I hate girls with back fat.
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My Interests

Running in Quick Sand, pumping gas, fishing in private property, riding motorcyle's, paying taxes, doing the robot "doomo arigato Mr. robot-o", stealing candy from kids, drinking heavily until i piss myself, clamming in ponds, running butt ass naked with a sock, play baseball with no bat. Pumping up for the gun show. Girls with tatoo's. Tight rolled jeans. Doing kart wheels in public places. Eating mad hot chili. Thats all folks.

I'd like to meet:

The Loch Ness monster. Maybe Godzilla, or that dude from office space. "Excuse me i think you stole my stapler". Hot grandmothers, Willy Wonka and a Oompa Loompa. Elvis and Sinatra. Vince Vaughn of course. Imagine this group of people drinking together. Haahha Rock band groupies and that girl from that Valtrax commercial, She seems to be having a lot of fun even though she has herpes. Hot babes to kanoodle with and spoon. i have a big spoon too. Any little Debbie takers.

Music:

1980's pop like abba. Dude its tight. The Chicken dance song. The Electric slide. NAS, Curtis Blow, Roots, Frank Sinatra, Run DMC, Lynard Sknyrd, Def Leopard, Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Led Zep, B.I.G, Mos Def, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Guns n Roses, Ray Charles, James Brown, dead prez, Hierogyphics, Afrikaa Baambaata, Elevator Music, and Barnie songs. Anything Funk.

Movies:

Anything with midgets in it. The "cum of all queers" starring Ben Asslick and Morgon Semen, a spin off of the sum of all fears. Billy Blank's Tae-Bo volume 7. Buns of steel volume 4. Richard Simmom's sexy work out tape. The notebook in my pajamee's eating icecream. Haha

Television:

That channel with the solid annoying sound with the rainbow columned screen. You know "We are conducting a test EEEEEEEEEEEEEE". House, Lost, Smallville, nip tuck, discovery channel, history, military, food network.

Books:

Movies that are based on books and maybe Wheres Waldo. your mother in the issue of naked mothers weekly.

Heroes:

Billy Bob Thornton is the man. He is every man's idol. The only man who could look like an ugly testicle and have hot chiclets. The hot dog eating champion is another one. Oompa Loompa's, your mama.