I do not feel like I am like most people my age. I notice that they tend to fall into 2 groups for the most part. The ones that go out drinking and partying, and the ones that are focusing on future with a family, house, kids and the minivan. At some point in my life, it would be nice to have those things, but I do not have the urge to nest. Maybe it will just take the right person to make me feel that way? I don't know, nor is it concern for me. The party night life, well I did the whole self destructive thing in high school. I do not have the compulsion to do so. I do not have anything against that, some times it's nice to go out. Just not all the time. Besides, I know of better things to spend my money on. So that leaves me in some late 20s limbo. I don't really have a clear path before me, and I am ok with that. I that whatever I am doing now I like, and if on my deathbed I know that I lived my life the way I wanted. I do have dreams and goals and when I am ready, I will go after them. I want to do something with film. When I listen to music I will talk about what the video should be. I listen to songs over and over again, writing the video in my head. Eh one day maybe. I wouldn't do it to make money, just because it's something I want to do.
I'm basically a dork or geek. I am a gamer. I have a ps3 and 360 and PC. I love survival horrors. Being chase, be in a dark hallway and something is coming, you do not know where it is coming from. Oh I love being scared. I guess gaming is my escape, my drug of choice. I love tech stuff. Tech blogs are my news. I don't like sports, and I don't do anything physically active. I do think maybe I could get into something using a mountain bike.
I am a patient person. I can tolerate a lot crap from someone. One thing I hear a lot when I get fed up with someone is "how come you didn't say anything?" I am not afraid of confrontation I just don't say anything. I really don't care about what people thing. I can do whatever or say whatever. I live my life for me, and not the masses. Now with that said, I do care about what a few people think. There is a very very select few that I secretly do care. It's amazing what happens when someone gets into your heart.
I have a cat. Mr.Kittles. He is my baby. I do not know when I will have kids, but he is the closest thing I have to one. He is with me in every room. He needs attention when I come home. I love him and he loves me. Nuff said.
I love food. I love to eat. I overeat because food taste good. It does not fill any void or kill pain. It tastes good, I eat it. I have no real self control so I eat till it's gone. I know I am not fat but I sure as hell aint skinny. I hate being called thin or skinny. I am not. I do not hate myself, I just know my body type. Do not tell me something else. Pizza is my comfort food. Tea is my real addiction. If I do not have it, i get headaches. I am a tea snob. I have to have fresh tea. No older then a day. I prefer no sugar, but I it is mixed right, I can have it. One of my friends, she brings that up a lot. I love that. I like when people know my things.
I think that I have a mild OCD thing. Cleaning, I am not anal about cleaning but I do pick up after myself. If there is a mess, I need to know that I made it. If it is mine, then I am ok with it. My brain makes a note of where it is and what it is. But if there is a new mess or trash or dirt, I freak out. I place my things in the same spot everyday. I know where all my dvds are. I have over 300 and know when one is missing. And I can even tell you the one that is missing. I know where everything that is mine is in my house. I have a trash compulsion thing as well. I can't throw certain things away. I just save them. I hide them so no one knows I do this, but I do. It's not gross. Im not saying what it is, but there is a small stash of this item in my house. I know it makes no sense. It's more effort to hide them, then it is to throw them away. I love to vacuum. Cleaning helps me think and calm down. I will not go to someones house if it is a dirty place. I can put up with alot but that... no I an not do. If your dirty, chances are I will never go to your place. And I will find reasons not go there. Even if you are clean now, I know that your are trying to be clean and that you are not. That image of dirty is burned in my head.
Noting really scares me. Except proof of ghosts. I don't really freak but when I see it or hear it, my eyes water. Tears run down my face.
