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TARD

About Me


TARD - Eating Out
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TARD - Blast Beats

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We are a beefy spazzy four piece that will rip you a new asshole and then sew it back together. Over the last five years this unit has changed members many times and slowly morphed from a joke project into a tight, grinding deathmetal machine. As far as we can recall, TARD was spawned in 2002 by 2 people who havent been in the band for over 2 years and during all its roster changes and incarnations the line up had 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 members at different times. After playing everything from power metal to death metal to speedpunk to country to extreme grind, wheelchair moshes, shitting on stage, penis hot dogs, broken noses & ribs, smashed guitars & rigs, drug debts and collections, diapers, dresses, vomit, cabins in the middle of forests, promiscuous nurses, one eyed midgets, french kissing dogs, handicapped sign stealing sprees, run-on sentences, horrifying the public, copious amounts of debauchery and self destruction and the disturbing release of a full length debut album that sums up those surreal years in one hideous package, the new line up stepped up to the plate and unleashed a sophmore recording that caught the attention of several labels. A deal was made with Comatose Music and you can get our new new shit by cuntacting them in our top friends. New tracks are up NOW. To be continued...

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 11/11/2005
Band Members: HILARY MUFF
GUTTERAL SPEWS

GUNNAR
GUITARD

FREEBASIN FELCHER
BASS ROCK

MISTER NASTY
DOWNSYNDRUMS

PAST MEMBERS:
Jessley Willis
Timmy Tard
Ruddy D'flowerd
Rob HalfTard
Hotdog Slut
Tammy Pon
Nurse Destiny
Nus Brown

Influences:YO MAMA

Sounds Like: BLAST, CHUNK, BLAST

Record Label: COMATOSE MUSIC

Type of Label: Indie

My Blog

BAND NEWS

TARD is pleased to confuse you with another major overhaul within our ranks. New blood has been injected into the band, and roster changes have been made to ensure were all on the same page. Our myspa...
Posted by on Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:44:00 GMT

REVIEWS OF THE NEW ALBUM

Although the name Tard doesn't exactly lend itself to be taken seriously, one listen to the vicious metal that these Canucks play and you will be floored. Something of a mix between Cryptopsy and Fuck...
Posted by on Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:47:00 GMT

NEW CD IS OUT

Whats up everyone, our new album is out and it looks and sounds like aids with a side of donkey balls. Thanks to the poor saps who got suckered into helping make this piece of shit happen, namely Erna...
Posted by on Sun, 03 Aug 2008 12:16:00 GMT