TARD

TARD - Eating Out
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TARD - Blast Beats
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We are a beefy spazzy four piece that will rip you a new asshole and then sew it back together. Over the last five years this unit has changed members many times and slowly morphed from a joke project into a tight, grinding deathmetal machine. As far as we can recall, TARD was spawned in 2002 by 2 people who havent been in the band for over 2 years and during all its roster changes and incarnations the line up had 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 members at different times. After playing everything from power metal to death metal to speedpunk to country to extreme grind, wheelchair moshes, shitting on stage, penis hot dogs, broken noses & ribs, smashed guitars & rigs, drug debts and collections, diapers, dresses, vomit, cabins in the middle of forests, promiscuous nurses, one eyed midgets, french kissing dogs, handicapped sign stealing sprees, run-on sentences, horrifying the public, copious amounts of debauchery and self destruction and the disturbing release of a full length debut album that sums up those surreal years in one hideous package, the new line up stepped up to the plate and unleashed a sophmore recording that caught the attention of several labels. A deal was made with Comatose Music and you can get our new new shit by cuntacting them in our top friends. New tracks are up NOW. To be continued...