We are the Barmy Army! Formed one day when Alex I asked if we fancied going in for a tournament at Goals, we debuted in April 2008, with some legendary performances from both the team and cheerleaders to ensure that we would never be forgotten by all those who witnessed us that day, a trend that has since continued, ensuring our legendary status!
ALEX I (Number 19, Forward and Captain) - scorer of the first ever goal for the team, his powerful and deadly shot is matched only by his powerful and deadly temper when things go wrong causing him to be heard barking like a mad dog...
WALFIE (Number 1, Goalkeeper/Defender) - his amazing goalkeeping abilities and spectacular defending not to mention his legendary lankiness and luxurious legs regularly stop the team being completely and utterly humiliated...
CHARLIE (Number 3, Defender) - the tough tacking defender is very hard to pass without getting tackled or probably injured, believed to be because of the ponytail he wears on pitch...
ADES (Number 69, Winger)- often confuses defenders with Ronaldo-esque runs, whilst being one of the only players alive able to play well in soggy jeans...
ALAN (Number 26, Winger/Forward) - the midfielder/striker is often a nuisance, to other teams with his sheer skill, and to his mum when she accidentally calls him by his former name Chris...
DAWSON (Number 4, Defender) - the missing man can run all day, an amazing ability when you consider he can fall asleep any time and any place, he strikes fear into his opponents with his haka-like dancing...
JAY (Number 16, Winger) - legendary winger who can grab the team by the scruff of the neck and give us a kick up the backside with his amazing runs, which are so good they even make the rest of the team look good...
CALEB (Number 17, anywhere you put him!) - A pacey utilty man whose silky skills make even the best defences look like a team of girl scouts - he can play anywhere, he can do anything, is there anything he cant do?
HARRY (Number 10, Winger) - recently signed ex-Crystal Palace Youth player who wowed the team in trials by being the only player actually able to take penalties, while currently being all time top scorer with a mighty 2 goals...
OLLIE (Number 7, Defence or Winger) - a reliable asset, he is the secret weapon of the team, and rumour has it that he is really Christiano Ronaldo in disguise...
ADAM (Number ?, winger) - close to making his debut before he was forced out with other commitments, he is sure to use his legendary skill to set the world on fire literally...
STEFAN (Number ?, Defender) - energetic defender whose willingness to get stuck in and energy mean he could quite happily carry on running even after the matches have finished and the rest of the team are at home asleep...
DAVE (Number?, anywhere really...) - player who turned up one day with Jay and after a decent performance was signed up on a contract of 50 grand a week, another player who will do a good job anywhere...
The cheerleaders and WAGS - their legendary performances have made sure that nobody who ever witnesses the Barmy Army will ever forget the experience, by providing atmosphere levels never before seen in 5-a-side...
and you think we're joking about all this!
