Maxwell profile picture

Maxwell

Like the coffee, I'm good to the last drop...

About Me

I'm going to come right out and say that I *heart* kittens. I'm not ashamed of that. I'm a heterosexual man who loves kittens. If you don't like kittens you should quit at life. Additionally, I got me a degree in English. Now I make money hand over fist as a foreman working in the English factory. My friends and family worried that I might not have a job after school. Ha, showed them. In all honesty the English degree isn't pulling in a fortune, but now that I know what I really want to be when I grow up it'll all work out in the wash. I want to be a doctor and so I'm back in school. Hopefully I'll be off to med-school by next fall if all goes to plan. In the meantime I'm a working stiff with a fascination for blood and, fittingly, I work in an emergency room. If I love anything as much as I love kittens (and boy do I love them kittens) it's gut wrenching trauma and gore. The human body is so icky on the inside, and when the insides are all over the outside it's a sadistically magical wonderland experience, with the right mindset.

My Interests

Writing, Reading, Movies, Poker, Music, Nerd Stuff, Funny People, Kittens, Playin' Drumz, Coffee,Books, Magazines, Video Games, Fitness, Sports, Bowling, Billiards, Disfigured Limbs, Open Wounds, Pus-filled Abscesses. . .and Hockey, I love Hockey.

MySpacePhotos.com

I'd like to meet:

My soulmate. . . Nah, fuck that Disney-shit. I'd like to meet anyone who wants to be my friend. BE MY FRIEND!

.. width="425" height="350" ..

Music:

I like my music like I like my sex: heavy, loud, and fast. I play the drumz and I'm partial to metal, or similarly sounding musical styles. I've not warmed up to Hip-hop and Country--although I'm a Johnny Cash fan. I round it all out with classical music or old-school jazz.

Movies:

The Maltese Falcon, Rounders, Seven Samurai, Clerks, Reservoir Dogs, Johnny Mnemonic, Hackers, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings & Seven, Strange Brew, Braveheart, American Beauty, The Cincinatti Kid, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon, The Hustler, The Breakfast Club, Waiting, The Football Factory, Snatch, Dinner Rush, Sin City, Mean Machine and the Godfather to name a select few.

Television:

I watch alot of news and forensics shows--way too much Court Tv. And I'm a sucker for COPS. It's human failure at it's finest. I wrap it around myself like a warm blanket on a winter morn--itchy yet warm. I'm also a fan of Metalocalypse on AdultSwim.

Books:

I like many, many, many books. I'm partial to Hemmingway and Carver short stories. As far as novels go I've read and enjoyed Irving's Hotel New Hampshire, Heller's Catch-22, Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray, Grahm Greene's The Heart of the Matter, and I'm a Lord of the Rings fan (including The Hobbit of course). Irving Welsh's Trainspotting (yes, the book) is, in my very humble opinion, one of the best contemporary works I've read. Shakespeare is always a must. My most recent recommendation would be Jim McManus's poker odyssey Positively Fifth Street. I almost forgot David Sedaris and Mark Twain. I finally finished reading The Catcher in the Rye and The Great Gatsby, two books I'd somehow missed through high school and college--even as an English major! I also like to pick up "The New Yorker" or "Skeptical Inquirer" every couple of weeks and read those too. Fiction in excess, like alcohol, is bad for the liver.

Heroes:


Create your own Friend Quiz here

My Blog

Coffee is for the Mouth-Hole

The guy at Starbucks almost fucked over my day.  I was running late to school but needed coffee.  I like to order my coffee face to face by going in the store, ordering my beverage, and dres...
Posted by Maxwell on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 12:39:00 PST

Bartending 4 Dummies

Who would have thought the evening bartending class in which I'm enrolled would be a confluence for so many degenerates? By in large the average age of the classroom population appears to be thirty,...
Posted by Maxwell on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 01:33:00 PST

Live Each Day Like You'll Die 80 Years From Now...

Most of us have spent too many hours surveying the far reaches of MySpace.com. It's a symptom of the natural curiosity to get to know one's fellow man. There are so many people out thereon MySpacean...
Posted by Maxwell on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 12:09:00 PST

Do Not Shock the Cock.

The good old days where I shared a house with three bachelors in college have past, though not without some regret.  We had the best of times at all times and harbor stories to hide from our kids...
Posted by Maxwell on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 11:27:00 PST

Laughing on the Inside

***PREFACE***This little ditty should have some explanation.  I wanted to write a new something to post here but was struggling to find the inspiration.  So I took a plunge through all of my...
Posted by Maxwell on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 09:34:00 PST

Is It Wrong to Ask for Death for X-mas?

I understand that this blog might come across as "insensitive" to many people, but, really, is it too much to ask for a little more death at work?  The past few weeks leading up to and through th...
Posted by Maxwell on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 05:42:00 PST

Suck My Cake.

It was a proud achievement the other day when myself, accompanied by several friends, built the first documented "cock-cake" in Pueblo.  The process took approximately 5 hours to complete and was...
Posted by Maxwell on Mon, 21 Aug 2006 02:22:00 PST

A Story Written in Under 3 Minutes

Jason, all 4'even of him, found a wandering child in the street. He did not see the parents around, not anywhere in sight. He wondered what sort of tricks the child was capable of. Jason named the ...
Posted by Maxwell on Sun, 23 Apr 2006 12:48:00 PST

I'm going to hell for this one...

Across the street from my apartment are a series of halfway-homes. I'm not sure exactly what vices were committed by the people living there, but clearly things went wrong in their lives. I like to ...
Posted by Maxwell on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 03:55:00 PST

"Frailty, thy name is woman."

  I'll preface this blog by admitting a disadvantage.  The great writers of olden times had an unfair head start on a great deal of broad truisms.  That is to say one such as Aristotle ...
Posted by Maxwell on Sun, 09 Apr 2006 09:05:00 PST