Stanley

My name is Stanley Zbornak and I'm a novelty entrepreneur. As my ex-wife Dorothy once put it, "the name Zbornak has become synonymous with plastic vomit".Ah yes, Dorothy. After I got her pregnant at a drive-in theater during the last days of our senior year in high school, we were married. I spent 38 blissful years with Dorothy, until I screwed it up by leaving her for a young stewardess named Chrissie.Things didn't work out, and I tried to go back to Dorothy, but she wouldn't have me. That didn't keep me away from her, though. She and her roommates (including my ex-mother-in-law) became the best of friends!Since then I've become extremely rich for inventing the "ZBORNY", a baked potato opener. Business is still booming!Once Dorothy and I were to be remarried, but when I asked her to sign a prenuptial agreement, she gave me the boot. I've tried to get over her, but she's a special lady. We even went to therapy together, and the doctor helped me transfer my love for Dorothy to a fake monkey, whom I named Fifi.I lost Dorothy for good when she married her roommate Blanche's uncle Lucas. The least I could do was make sure she arrived at the church in style, so as her wedding gift, I drove her in a limo.