I love sports, preferably my home town teams of St. Louis Cardinals and St. Louis Blues.
Bono and the rest of U2.
Cubs Suck
Listed below is a pull from a website I found absolutely hilarious. If this is your website, please let me know, but otherwise here it is:
The US government has a new
website, http://www.ready.gov/ . It's
another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and
cover" advice after WWII.
The fun thing is that these pictures are so
ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few
interpretations.
If you have set yourself on fire, do not
run
If you
spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell
really loud.
If you
spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder
If
you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of
seeing a doctor.
Use your
flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
The
proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least
one(1) armless hand.
Michael
Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes,
run the fuck away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard
symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be
on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub
their hands together manically.
If a door is closed, karate chop it
open.
If your building collapses, give yourself a
blowjob while waiting to be rescued.
Try to absorb as much of the
radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds,
however, you may become sterile
After exposure to radiation it is important to
consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your
head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a
deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that
shit.
--
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower
in the corner or run like hell.
If
your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they
stop.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve
oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack,
do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding
from the hood.
-- A
one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against
radiation.
My favourite band is U2 but I like any type of music.
These movies are out of date, but I still like them: Stripes, Blues Brothers, Transformers The Movie, Big Lebowski, Go, V the Original Miniseries, V the Final Battle, Miracle, Willy Wonka, Mystery Alaska, Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan, Spaceballs, Meet the Feebles, Finally Legal .4, Indiana Jones Trilogy, Band of Brothers, Playmakers, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Vol 1, Futurama vol 1/2/3, U2 The Best of 90-00, U2 Go Home - Live from Slane Castle, U2 Rattle and Hum, U2 Live from Boston, Fight Club, Catch me if you can, Anger Management, Back to the future 1/2/3, Fargo, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, National Lampoon's Vacation, National Lampoon's European Vacation, Full Metal Jacket, Airplane!,
Anything sports related usually, but I also like MASH, Law & Order (All of them), Studio 60, War at home.
Sacre Blues, Catcher in the Rye, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Michael Crichton stuff. Boys of winter
1980 US Olympic Hockey team, 2006 Saint Louis Cardinals, My father and my grandmother.