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I run a small zoo in North Finchley, specialising in monkeys and exotic birds. It is a lovely job and, for obvious reasons, very rewarding. Having said that, last week, I was visited by the RSPCA because I took one of my monkeys out on a chain and tried to make him play the ukulele in a local shopping precinct for money. Sadly, the police didn't see the funny side and have temporarily suspended my licence. I will be circulating a petition to all my friends in the next few weeks, which hopefully will allow me to start trading again. The Monkeys can't last on cornflakes for ever!
You can also help, by buying my charity book, 'Teaching the Ukulele to Monkeys and Exotic Birds'. All proceeds will go to the NLMEBS. PLEASE NOTE: I would like to assure any potential customers that I am not taking advantage of the ukulele boom or the wildlife I teach to play. All proceeds will go directly to the monkey's bank accounts in Jersey. Thankyou.
