Dave

I was born the seventh son of the seventh son...no...wait...I was born the son of a poor sharecropper in the wilds of the South. We didn't have much money, so at an early age I made a living out of carving caricatures of local political figures from bars of homemade soap. One of my carvings was a bit suggestive (it had something to do with the aforementioned politico and a wild animal, but i digress) and I was summarily run out of town. From then on i made my way around the world, whoring myself out to the lowest bidder. I soon found myself in the dingy backstreet barrios of Rio de Janiro, where I made a substantial living becoming a luchador known only as the Grimm Fandango. to this day there are whispers of my legend, told only by drunken sailors and syphilitic whore....but still my name is whispered. I met up with another who shared my penchant for senseless violence and together we became Team volare, Ecuadorian Luchador Assassins!! Now my fame has spread to the US and I find myself on the West coast talking in horrible Lessperanto (a bastard dialect of Esperanto) and drinking my body weight in corona every chance i get. Did I fail to mention that mi amigo and i are now the proud owners of the Whore Farm(tm) off the coast of Motzulan? We get the finest batch of whores to disperse throughout all of the world. Jess my frens...no finer whores will joo find. So that ees me....tell me abou' joo.