EVERYBODY COME'S ON MYSPACE FOR VARIOUS OF REASONS, BUT I'M HERE JUST TO MEET PEOPLE, BE AN INSPIRATION, AND ENCOURAGE WHOMEVER NEED IT. I PRAY THAT JUST BY READING ABOUT ME, READING ABOUT MY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS AND SEEING HOW I MADE IT THROUGH AND IS MAKING IT, THAT IT WILL GIVE YOU HOPE WHERE HOPE IS NEEDED.
ALL ARE WELCOME WITH AGAPE LOVE.
BELOW I WILL BE MAKING KNOWN OF SOME Of THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS I WENT THROUGH IN LIFE, LET ALONE STILL GOING THROUGH. MY PURPOSE OF DOING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW AND REALIZE THAT NO MATTER WHAT COME THEIR WAY, THEY CAN MAKE IT. I HAVE NO SHAME IN LETTING PEOPLE KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH IN LIFE, LET ALONE STILL GOING THROUGH, BECAUSE IN TELLING PART OF MY LIFE I BELIEVE THAT IT WILL GIVE OTHERS HOPE.
I WENT THROUGH SO MUCH IN LIFE STARTING AT A VERY YOUNG AGE. I LIVED MOST OF MY CHILDHOOD LIFE IN FOSTER HOMES, I'VE BEEN MOLESTED, RAPED, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSED, I WAS IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE FOR MORE THAN 8 YEARS, BEEN HOMELESS, LIVED IN HOMELESS SHELTERS, LIVED IN BATTERED WOMEN SHELTERS, HAD 4 FIRES, A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, A MISCARRIAGE, LONELY, DEPRESSED, TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE, BEEN IN 2 HORRIBLE ACCIDENTS, FAINTED WHERE I HAD TO BE REVIVED, SUFFERED WITH MEMORY LOSS. I'VE BEEN CRITICIZED, OUTCAST FROM MY BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, TOLD I WASN'T SUPPOSE TO BE HERE, TOLD BY MY MOM SHE WISH I WASN'T BORN, I WAS ALWAYS CONSIDERED AS THE BLACK SHEEP IN THE FAMILY, AND THE LIST GOES ON ..
BUT INSPITE OF WHAT I BEEN THROUGH I THANK THE LORD FOR THE STRENGTH I HAVE TO KEEP GOING AND FOR HAVING A FORGIVING HEART. I STILL FACE SO MANY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS AND YES, IT GET’S HARD AND THE CROSS GET’S HEAVY TO BARE, BUT “ I CAN DO ALL THING’S THROUGH CHRIST JESUS WHOM STRENGTHENS ME†I TRULY BELIEVE THAT MY LIFE IS BEING USED AS A TESTIMONY, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT TRIALS COME MY WAY.. THE LORD SEE ME THROUGH. SOMETIME I FEEL LIKE “JOB†IN THE BIBLE WHERE HE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH, BUT HE KEPT HIS FAITH AND AT THE END HE GOT HIS REWARD, OVER AND BEYOND WHAT HE HAD AT THE BEGINNING. I THANK THE LORD BECAUSE MY “REWARDS†ARE BEING MANIFESTED.
YOU NEED TO KNOW ALL THIS I'M PUBLICIZING IS NOT TO GET SYMPATHY OR PITY FROM ANYBODY, BUT TO GIVE OTHER'S HOPE AND TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE LORD WILL GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH AND THE ENDURANCE TO STRIVE ON; JUST BELIEVE AND HAVE FAITH.I'VE CAME TO REALIZE THAT ONE HAVE A CHOSE TO MAKE. WHEN YOU GO THROUGH TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS YOU CAN EITHER WITHER UNDER THE PRESSURE OR USE YOUR TRIALS AS STEPPING STONES..I'VE MADE UP MY MIND,THAT I REFUSE TO GIVE UP,IN,OR OUT... I AM A CONQUER.
EVEN IN GETTING WHERE THE LORD WANT ME TO BE, THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS ARE STILL COMING AND THEY WILL COME, BECAUSE THE ENEMY WANT ME TO GET DISCOURAGED, HE WAN'T ME TO GIVE UP, IN, AND OUT. BUT I HAVE THAT "JOB" FAITH. NOMATTER WHAT CAME HIS WAY HE HAD FAITH AND STOOD HIS GROUND, AND AT THE END HE WAS BLESSED OVER AND BEYOND. I'M COMING FULL FORCE, NOTHING OR NOONE IS GOING TO HOLD ME BACK. I'VE LEARNED TO USE MY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS AS STEPPING STONES, AS TESTIMONIES, AND TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS.
OK, LET'S RECAP 2008,IT WAS ANOTHER VERY TRYING YEAR FOR ME, BUT I THANK THE LORD FOR THE STRENGTH HE EMPOWERED IN ME TO KEEP GOING. I WAS HURT BY PEOPLE I NEVER THOUGHT WILL HURT ME, I WAS HURT BY LOVED ONES, MY HEART WAS BROKEN, I HAD SO MANY PEOPLE WORKING AGAINST ME, I HAD A CHILD THAT THE ENEMY TRIED TO WIN OVER, THERE WAS MORE BUMPS THAN SMOOTH TIMES, ETC. THE ENEMY DID ALL HE COULD TO MAKE ME SWAY, BUT I JUST PICKED MYSELF UP, SHOOK THE DIRT OFF AND KEPT PUSHING ON. I THANK THE LORD FOR THE FIGHTING, STRONG SPIRIT I HAVE. I THANK HIM FOR A FORGIVING HEART. I THANK HIM FOR MY OPEN MIND SET, FOR TRYING AGAIN. 2009 IS MY YEAR I'M COMING FULL FORCE, I'M NOT LETTING NOTHING OR NO ONE DISCOURAGE ME. SO COME RIGHT OR NOT AT ALL
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME, I’M A MOTHER OF SIX ADORABLE CHILDREN; WHOM I LOVE DEARLY; EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T MY PLAN TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE FAMILY, I BELIEVE THAT NO MATTER HOW A CHILD GOT IN THIS WORLD, THEY ARE A BLESSING FROM THE LORD IN SPITE OF.
ALSO, AS YOU LOOK THROUGH MY PICTURES, YOU WILL SEE THAT I LOVE THE CAMERA. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I LOVE MYSELF AND I HAVE LEARNED TO ACCEPT MYSELF FOR ME. I’M NOT CONCEITED, BUT WITH ALL THAT I BEEN THROUGH IN LIFE, BEING TALKED ABOUT AS A CHILD, HEARING SO MUCH NEGATIVENESS, BEING AN OUTCAST, THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY, ETC. HAD CAUSED ME TO HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM, AND I DIDN’T LOVE MYSELF. BUT WITHIN THE LAST FEW YEARS, I SAW MY INNER BEAUTY AND I BEGAN LOVING MYSELF AND THE MORE I LOVED MYSELF THE GLOW WITHIN ME BEGAN TO SHINE. I’M NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD, HEY BUT I’M BEAUTIFUL AND I DON’T HAVE TO DRESS A CERTAIN WAY, WEAR PILES OF MAKEUP, BE FAKE, CARRY MYSELF IN A NEGATIVE WAY, OR NOT BE ME. SO, IF YOU LOOKING FOR REALNESS, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.I'M NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT JUDGE ANYONE OR PUT ANYBODY DOWN, BECAUSE I HAVE FAULTS OF MY ON AND I HAVE DONE A LOT OF THING'S THAT I AM NOT PROUD OF. BUT I THANK THE LORD FOR FORGIVENESS AND FOR GIVING ME THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO KEEP TRYING. WE ARE ALL IN THIS RACE TOGETHER, TRYING TO MAKE IT TO THE FINISH LINE.
WHAT I'VE BEEN SHOWN AND LEARNED NOW AT A LATE AGE, IN LIFE, I SHOULD'VE LEARNED AT A EARLIER AGE, BUT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TAUGHT, FED THE WRONG THINGS, DIDN'T HAVE ANY POSITIVE ROLE MODELS, SOMETIMES IT TAKES LONGER. I THANK THE LORD FOR OPENING UP MY EYES ABOUT MYSELF, PEOPLE, LIFE, MY MISTAKES, AND MY FUTURE. I'VE COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT I AM WORTHY, I DESERVE THE BEST, I DESERVE TO BE MADE LOVE TO, NOT HAVING SEX, I DESERVE TO BE HELD, NOT "BOOM BAM THANK YOU MAM", I DESERVE ALL, NOT PARTIAL, I SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN, NOT PUT ON THE BACK BURNER, I DIDN'T NEVER THINK I DESERVED THE BEST BEFORE BECAUSE OF WHAT I WAS BEING FED, WHAT I ALWAYS HEARD, WHAT I SEEN, WHAT I SETTLED FOR, BUT I KNOW NOW THAT I DON'T HAVE TO SALE MYSELF SHORT, I KNOW THAT I DESERVE TO BE LOVED THE RIGHT WAY, THAT I'M BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, THAT I DON'T HAVE TO IF I DON'T WONT TO, THAT I CAN SPEAK WHAT I THINK AND FEEL. I'M NOT A BOOTY CALL, A ONE NIGHT STAND.
I DON'T GO BY ONE'S JOB TITLE, HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE, WHAT KIND OF VEHICLE YOU DRIVE, HOW YOU LOOK, HOW TALL YOU ARE, OR ANY OR THING THAT IS NOT DEALING WITH "TRUE LOVE" OR YOUR SOUL. IN BECOMING MORE OUT SPOKEN, EYES BEING OPENED, AND LEARNED, I'M A HAPPIER PERSON,I UNDERSTAND LIFE BETTER, I KNOW "TRUE LOVE", AND VALUES.
