These are the wonderfull people that spant my birthday with me. Jessi,Brandi,Allie,and Brittany.I'm Jaydean Marie. I stop, I stumble, I trip and fall.But in the end I'm alive and well.I take promblems I have and hold them in my hands.I hold them to give to people who actually want to take the time and help me.I wear my heart on my sleeve's at times where I feel I'm dead.I keep few people in my life afraid that in the end I'll lose them.I listen to the sound of music hoping it will guid me somewhere.Wether it be a home or in the middle of a medow.I'm happy.I take the people in my life and keep them in my heart.I care for everything and everyone that steps foot in my life,even if it's for 3 seconds or 3 decades.I'm not attatched,I just care more then most people you've come across.I'm in love with the word "like" I'm very accident prone.And I tend to get hurt no matter what.I'm bad luck to all and those who are around me.I rather you not go anywere with me.But if you like the risk.Then go for it. I like to write in journals.I wright what I feel,what is on my mind,what has happend.Everything possible.I explore my mind and open it on pages.Days I take 1 page,others I take 5.Just meaning what has and hasn't happends. I'm one to support you wether you think you've destroyed your life.I support your decision,I support your relationships.I give advice when you need it.I'm never going to leave.There's not a reason to leave someone hanging by a thread.If you've thought mant times about something and need a push to a decision,I'm here. I have 195 years left.I'm sorry that I bought you a card to tell you that I like you. I'm sorry that I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you are drunk. I'm sorry that my body's not skinny enough to "satisfy" your wants. I'm sorry that I open the door to help you, and pull out your chair your sick. I'm sorry that I'm not cute enough to be "your girl". I'm sorry that I am actually nice; not a slut. I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things. I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club. I'm sorry I would rather make give love to you than just screw you like some random girl. I'm sorry that I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date. I'm sorry that I always sat outside the door when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car. I'm sorry that I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new girl hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough for you to listen to me when I need a friend. I'm sorry if I start not being there because it hurts being used as a doormat, only to be thrown to the side when the new chick comes around. I'm sorry if I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you complain for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work. I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry if you read this and know somebody like this, but don't care. ...but most of all, I'm sorry for not being sorry anymore. I'm sorry that you can't accept me for who I am. I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your girlfriend with another guy and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry that I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry that I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your girlfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm sorry that I cared. I'm sorry that I listen to you at night, talking about how you wish you could have done something different. I'm sorry for everything. Guys next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head, "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
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