Having a myspace account really makes you feel like damn, now i'm SOMEBODY. Life is complete at last.
Nobody likes actual websites anymore, so I put up some of my random acts of music here. Toni once made an excellent (and I thought poignant) point when she said that myspace is essentially homogenizing the internet in the same way that large companies are homogenizing america. A great comedian once said that in a thousand years when we're all dead and gone, some species will find the remains of the internet, fire it up, and think "My God, everyone in this entire civilization was a self-obsessed asshole." Or something to that effect. Not that i'm bitter.
I like long walks on the beach, puppies, ice cream sandwiches, making lists, using, commas incorrectly, being self-referential before the joke's even made, antique porn, antonyms, prerequisites, phenobarbital, using big words to make people think i'm shmarterest, hucking hucks at Huck, Noam Chomsky's speaking style, and wonder showzen. Actually I just like speaking precisely. Poor communication leads to poor relations.
george made this nice background for me many years ago. what a nice fellow.
my sense of humor is so dry, no one laughs at my jokes. you'll know the punchline has been delivered when I smile innocently and look at you expectantly
Jack LaLanne hasn't had dessert since 1929.
J_and_D, a webcomic (click):
graphical definitions of selected nouns:
My favorite episode of Blossom is the one where Joey gets his jaw dislocated in the blowjob contest.
For some reason girls like movies so I'm going to get a digital projector and invite one over. Because of the layout of my apartment, the best place to show movies bigscreen would be the bedroom so I'll casually suggest dessert and a movie sitting on the bed. God forbid I spill some chocolate ice cream on her shirt so she has to take it off to wash it. As she's washing it half naked I'll come up suddenly from behind and say "maybe you should go home now." She will and we'll both spend the rest of our evenings alone. I'll watch something I've seen a million times and don't care for. She'll go to sleep early and not call.
I've been called the Babe Ruth of vomiting, the Elvis Presley of plasticware, and the Amon Hotep of insufflation.
http://www.buttafly.com/originals/friendster2.php
I have one friend i've never really liked but now have too much history to turn away... can you guess who it is? Is it you?
