Hi I'm Scotty. First of all I am from the planet of Heranus the sister planet to Uranus (3 billion light years away), I spawned from a single sesame seed wearing nothing but a pair of fruit of the loom briefs and a dirtbike helmet.When I got here I couldn't find anywhere to park my space-craft, but when I finally did I happened to be in the middle of a very good joint filled with martian moon-grass and was fired upon by Jedi's due to a faulty cloaking device. My left turbine began to sputter out sending me into an orbit and crashing into your planet. I accidentally left a crop circle shaped like a vagina that's where I cryogenetically froze my space ship and buried it. I had to leave my humble martian dwelling because it was ransacked by Klingon's with piercings, neck tattoos and mo-hawks. Upon arriving I didn't want to disturb anyone with my appearance so I morphed into something a little more casual. Second of all I don't know how long I'll be able to stay but I like your planet, I like you, I like sex... it's nice! Lately I've been been swingin my 1 wood so hard my nuts swelled up like watermelons, so I had to hire a caddy to carry my two balls around! Many earth women say I'm an animal in bed, not so much like a tiger or anything but more like a woodpecker crossed with King Kong. I'm a Pisces I like long walks on the Moon and my hobbies are coin collecting, doin the robot and dry fuccing cheerleaders, and yes I would love to give you a Dirty Sanchez. If trying to contact me please use telekinesis because this intergalactic roaming is a beotch.
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